What I Really Want

Why, I suddenly wonder this morning, am I so eager to evolve further myself first of all, and to spark in others too the need to evolve as well?
Why am I still living on this physical plane, in a physical body, doing all I am doing since forty years in this Auroville? What keeps me at it day after day?
What do I really want, after all?  

After a moment of deep concentration within, this is the new-found truth about myself that emerges with great clarity:


Not just for me and my relatives or friends, not just for everybody in Auroville either, but for everybody on this little planet Earth.
I am so tired of seeing these poor people from the local villages around here, my neighbours, or my employees, so many of them living in such dire conditions, the lack of sufficient money depriving them of the needed medical care, dental care, good and abundant enough food, and proper housing. 
I want money, or any other means to provide all that to those simple Indian people I see all around me and watch suffer with as much dignity and patience as they can, while the world of the rich rolls on, not even noticing their plight, and not paying even attention, let alone money, for helping them.

It is with burning tears in my eyes that I am writing this. Even here in Auroville, there are still Aurovilians who don’t get anything from Auroville to live on, although they participate in the work faithfully since years. There is still so much real need not taken care of, which I am aware of or have to witness everyday, and which I am not able to relieve, however hard I try through the outer work I am doing and through approaching the various Auroville financial services.

This month, in this remote corner of Auroville, the Café some other Aurovilians are running had to lay down its three last lady employees, for as long as they cannot pay them; and the little Guest-House here (a few huts) that I am running with another resident Aurovilian, both without getting anything out of it, also had trouble covering the amount needed for the wages of our regular workers, some of whom have been working with us for more than twenty years.
For me, they are family, I could never abandon them; and the life of the entire place depends actually on their daily work here, so we couldn’t do without them either; but how to get all the money necessary for them to live decently, and to put aside something, so as not to starve after some more years when they grow too old for working? And in the meantime, while they are still working with us, how to make sure we can always pay them their normal salaries, and more, as the inflation makes all prices go higher and higher?…

This whole economic crisis inexorably strangling the already poor everywhere in the world, and making so many more human beings poor too, is definitely a BAD SCRIPT, but how to stop it on the vast scale where it must be stopped?

I feel like holding hands with them all, all around the world, and screaming ‘HELP!…’ at the top of our lungs, all together, or ringing the biggest bells we can find, or doing what some have started doing even right in the USA: to ask for the entire system to be changed, starting with the banks and all the ‘Wall Streets’ doing their crazy business everywhere.

I want every country, starting with Auroville, to give to each of its citizens enough to live, whatever work they do, so that no one is forced to do a work they hate or which costs them their health, just to earn enough to survive, they and the children they may have, who are our future citizens. Let’s make sure they all have good reasons to respect and love Auroville. Let’s make it possible here to work for the pleasure of working, that is, of doing what one would anyway be doing because it is what one really enjoys doing from the depths of one’s being, just like a bird cannot help but fly and sing.

This, regarding the ‘others’, those other human parts of my Divine Self in its Wholeness. And of course there are some other ‘little people’ too, all the animals and plants that live with us on Planet Earth. They too should at least not suffer any cruelty from us human beings, and in their own realms should reign more harmony.

But ‘What I Really Want’ includes also those tiny ‘others’ inside my own physical body: my dear body-cells, also living for the time being such a hard life – less hard already since they too, about twenty-five years ago, after I had done the same in 1975, began to be able to connect by themselves inwardly with the Divine, and to live in the Divine Presence within this very Physical World. It is because of my love and compassion for them too, for those other parts of my Whole Being, that I persist in this physical life, so that they can go on learning that new way of living, and participate in the future Life Divine promised to all of us who have labored for so long, so many lifetimes, to finally win this huge Game of Evolution, our Adventure as embodied Spirits.

With those two sides of ‘otherness’ that still need my help and love, I think I have described fully the new awareness I now have of What I Really Want in staying on within this physical body, and participating to the best of my ability in the new step Evolution is taking here…


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