Just some news from ‘Repos’… and me.

Pfff… Oh my, it is so nice to have some blue sky today again… And to have been able to sleep soundly last night, without the heavy pounding of the waves on this poor coast already so badly eroded…

I had been really hoping we would be able to escape again, like last year, without being touched by this terrible erosion of our beach which has become a major problem, thanks to all the usual human mistakes in a neighboring Indian state, which have consequences all the way down the coast, and affect us too more and more as years pass, threatening now the very safety of this place and its various light huts and supposedly permanent houses or other buildings, all basically lined up right along the fence for a better view of the ocean.

The rest of the year it’s fine, very pleasant indeed, but nowadays with this erosion thing the proximity to the ocean has become a little too much!… When the big monsoon (mid-October to end of November) comes, it aggravates the situation by sending the waves straight against the little cliff-like limit of the tiny bit of remaining original beach, hardly a few meters from the fence.

During the whole monsoon it has still been all right this year, the waves weren’t too strong, the cliff held; but just in the last two days, with heavy rain, and wind for good measure, the waves suddenly became much worse… and our poor little cliff started caving in.  Its sand, going into the sea,  on the first day took down a portion of our fence on that side of the compound: a ten meter yawning gap of shocking nothingness right where a proud row of bougainvilleas could usually be seen like all around Repos; and then yesterday morning – the second day, after waves pounding all night violently – a greyish dawn showed us an awful sight: the very last little hut that normally stands there behind that now gone portion of the fence, was halfway fallen also into the sea, its two front granite pillars already lower by one meter and soon loose on the wet sand down below, the waves about to take them further away at any moment.

It felt like a hard, huge fist punching me in the middle of the chest, cutting the breath away from me for a few seconds; my horrified eyes couldn’t believe this nightmarish sight they were staring at. What a sickening feeling one gets in one’s heart seeing a full hut like that, which had been the small home of so many happy guests for so many years, suddenly on its way to being swallowed and destroyed by those relentless waves galloping all along the coast in thunderous noise…

I nearly fell to my knees too, like the hut. But what would have been the use?… If it went on like this, tomorrow the bigger hut next to that one would be gone, and next would be the house where  not a guest, but another Aurovilian lived!… What a horrible thought.

There was nothing I could do but slowly go back on wobbly legs towards the Community Kitchen, tears gushing out of my eyes, my thoughts spinning in my head, and one question gnawing inside of me: Why, Why?… How come the Protection wasn’t there till the end this year again? What did I do wrong???

I really asked inwardly, I prayed to be shown why this was happening, where and how I had been wrong, what had prevented the Protection from acting?…

Someone in the meantime had come and was standing on the way, an Aurovilian that one year ago I had had privately a deep argument with,  precisely about this erosion problem, and had never met since, so my first reaction when seeing him there was recoil; but I scolded myself for that, and joined silently the few other ‘Repos’ people who were gathering around him.

After a few seconds of the discussion he said ‘Now we are in the hands of the sea.’

This was too much for me. Inside of me anger rose and silently but intensely I said ‘No! We are in the hands of the Divine Mother!…’ and I walked away.

I couldn’t understand, and it drew me wild every time, how some other Aurovilians could say things like that, which for me showed they had no faith at all in the Divine Protection. But what to do?… That was the situation, there was nothing I could say about it without again quarreling with that person like last year.  I simply offered the whole problem to the Mother inwardly, totally frustrated and upset with the way things were going. Controlling myself as much as I could, I only managed to stick around instead of going back straight into my house.

A little while later, I had cooled down a bit; I got a chance to speak alone with that other Aurovilian, he answered my call with a big smile and came sit next to me.

We had a frank but deep and friendly talk for about fifteen minutes, and ended up embracing each other. He explained to me why he had said what he had said, and he clarified what he meant; and he assured me he too had actually complete faith in the Divine Grace; in the place where he lives they hold collective prayers like I would like us to have sometimes here.

My impression of him had been obviously wrong. And what was even worse, which I didn’t remember, last year I had not kept our argument as private as I thought I had, having unfortunately sent one email not just to him, but also to the little group of three other persons we were discussing with at the time. I normally never do such a thing, but in that case I did, so I sincerely apologized for this mishap, all the while quite aware inwardly that the Divine Grace had answered my prayer through sending this man to me again, and was showing me exactly where I had gone wrong. I was so grateful.

We both had the happy feeling that we were finally bringing the whole incident of last year to its needed healing and closure.

After we parted, I was still shaken for some time by the realization of how wrong I had been, how wrong we can all be in our judgments of each other, even when those judgments are based on what we ourselves have heard the other person say, or seen them do, which seemed to us so obvious proof of their insincerity or whatever. I guess tons of other Aurovilians don’t consider me a sincere spiritual person because I am not a strict vegetarian, or because I watch TV sometimes, or because I like the ‘Twilight’ saga, or because…

Hopefully I have indeed learned the lesson I was to learn this time; I prayed ardently that if so, the waves would quiet down and  further destruction be avoided.

I slept peacefully, and in the clear dawn upon waking up went straight to see how things were.

O wonderful surprise!!! Not only it wasn’t worse, but the half-fallen little hut had been somehow separated from its broken terrace, and free from that weight was standing again squarely on the four granite posts that upheld its body: while I was away yesterday looking for a loan to be able to pay the workers their full wages, some of them had come together and managed to salvage most everything and put the hut back where it belonged!… The loss in materials is also less, as most of it has been brought back in from the sea and piled up nicely at the back of the hut for re-use.

So much gratitude I felt for those thoughtful employees, and for the Divine Grace that had softened the lesson and reduced its potentially dire consequences to almost nothing, now that the lesson had been learned…

It is quite possible – probable even – that the other Aurovilians also involved here have had to learn their own lesson too, whatever that was. But that’s for them, not me, to know about; this blog of mine is about my own Adventure of Evolution, as it happens step after little or big step, as a sampling of what more and more human beings of good will are experiencing since a few decades on this planet…

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