Last night I went to bed after putting up my post ‘During The Last Ten Days…’, happy to have managed to get it ready on that one day, but still feeling within myself the question “Why am I ‘prevented’ from going to see that great second movie about that great little book by Tolkien, ‘The Hobbit’???…”
From the deep stirring impact that lingering question was producing within me, I knew it was an important question: there was something important I had to learn, obviously, from not going… but what?! As usual in such cases, I put that question out to the Divine, quite simply, and without any further worrying about it, peacefully fell asleep.
In the early hours before dawn, when I woke up this morning, I had my answer very clear in my consciousness, and it started unfolding at once, formulating itself into words as the whole internal logic of it made itself known to me in a more detailed manner:
I was shown how an old problem of mine was getting too strong again without my noticing it:
Already in the beginning of my stay in Auroville, I was so impressed by the remarkable work plenty of other Aurovilians were accomplishing here and there and everywhere, after a few years I suddenly realized I was so engrossed in watching them and admiring them I did nearly only that, and in the meantime my own work wasn’t getting done.
Later on, as Auroville kept on growing, this problem in me took another form: I was keeping myself informed of all that was happening everywhere, I was present and active in all the meetings being convened on all possible topics, I found it all tremendously interesting… until the day when I stopped in my tracks and asked myself why I was so fascinated with all that, when too little of my own work was ready and useful to others yet, because I was not following it up eagerly enough.
When I started living in Repos on the beach, something similar happened again, particularly in the more recent years: I allowed myself to be distracted by all the various activities going on there and all the so capable and strong people doing them… until I saw to my utter dismay that for one reason or the other they were all gone, and I found myself having to take care of everything in their place – which of course took most of my time and energy, my real work for the Laboratory of Evolution suffering from that.
This morning it was the same glaring truth I was seeing once again: although the Divine Grace had freed me now from all other concern here in Djaima and I was at last happily doing my dear LOE work full time again, again I was allowing my focus on it to be somewhat deviated by my interest and enthusiasm for the great achievements of others, be it Peter Jackson and Co, or Tolkien himself, or the great posts of so many people on TORn. Meanwhile, my own long-standing projects, which I knew were potentially of equivalent greatness and importance for the Earth, were not receiving from me the full attention they required and deserved.
There. This is one of those moments in one’s life when one can see the absolute necessity of abandoning once and for all a certain pattern of behavior which has gone on for too long, becoming not only obsolete but even a major obstacle to one’s fuller manifestation of one’s real capacities, expected to be one’s contributions to this world while one is here in a physical body.
It was all very good to admire everyone else’s achievements, no doubt, but I had to remain aware of my own achievements and specific talents too, otherwise an unbalance was created, which was unhealthy and kept me away from realizing what I myself had to realize as well.
On this blog I have spoken of myself until now mostly as a “teacher” kind of person, and that is true, but it so happens that this includes in my case a good amount of creativity too, as I received the inspiration for some very unique teaching-aids in various forms as well, and I also always dreamed of writing a story – a novel, or something you could call “Fantasy” like Tolkien’s books are generally called – which would depict actually the inner life when it starts turning towards spirituality, and particularly an evolution-based spirituality like the one I am immersed into since forty years. Blogging is only one form of writing I feel inclined to, a real story-book has also started taking shape in me earlier, which I didn’t follow up on then, but which this morning was presenting itself again insistingly, as if the intervening years had somehow made me more able to realize at last such a project, among other ones I still have also to finally bring to fruition.
As a continuation of this Answer being given to me, and as the beautiful Solution presented to me next, several threads came together in my head, invisible threads connecting my deep fascination and attraction for Tolkien’s inner world with the even more attractive inner world I live in by choice too, both seen together in the same so promising and wonderful perspective of an ongoing, ‘God’-guided huge process of Evolution, with for both those two worlds the same ultimately blessed outcome for the Earth.
It is not the time and place to explain more about this, but perhaps some day in the future when it is written at least to some extent I’ll mention it again here, so if you are interested, mark the date: you will have read about it first here, when it was but a mere Vision…!
Well, for now I have to figuratively roll up my sleeves and get on more decisively with the other tasks already at hand, not all of them to be accomplished by myself alone, but in collaboration with other people. Harmonious collaboration is the only pleasant and fruitful one, but it is in itself yet another challenge, another aspect of the work to be done…
Of course the help of the Divine Grace is absolutely necessary for all this, especially when all of it, whatever the external form, is but an attempt at expressing the same Inner Reality that is in the process of manifesting Itself more and more in our Outer Reality too, as this new step in terrestrial Evolution proceeds. So a constant inner openness and receptivity, along with the needed sense of discernment, discrimination, regarding what is received, are the required conditions for any valuable – that is, true – results.
But especially for me as one of the many individuals everywhere involved consciously to whatever extent in that progressive manifestation of a New Era for the Earth, the lesson this morning was: “Keep at it, never lose your complete focus upon it and upon the specific part that is yours to play in it… otherwise you will miss your chance, and waste the Help that is poured into you as Inspiration and Energy for that Work to be done through you.”
I am most grateful for that Lesson… and determined not to forget it!