This morning my eyes want to remain half-closed… half-closed on this feeling of Bliss that is pervading my being, so utterly quiet and yet so tremendously powerful, wave after wave of It flooding my inner and outer being with its irresistible and entrancing Ananda…
The photo above, one of Mother’s, posted by a friend of mine on my Facebook Timeline some time ago, already arrested my eyes and my heart when I first saw it there; but I had no time to do anything further with it at the time.
Today is different.
After these very active last fifteen days, when for fulfilling properly my intention to receive a dear friend in my home (see my two previous posts) I had to be most of the time during that period more externalized than I usually am, the inner need for silence and simple contemplation is so strong my whole being yearns for that only and tends to withdraw from outer life however slightly, just in order to recover its normal sense of poise and quiet happiness, which had had to retreat a little deeper back towards their Source, the very Core of my True Self, so that I would always be available for my friend or for any other outer situation presenting itself and so, having to be dealt with often at once if I didn’t want my friend to suffer any inconvenience from my usual relative lack of interest for the outer concerns of daily life.
Her friendly presence and loving attention has on the other hand been truly beneficial to me, especially when she accepted to use her professional and intuitive skills to help me get rid of disturbing outer tendencies I had not managed to get fully rid of otherwise. Today it is in that way thanks to her also that I feel more serene within, not sensing any longer the usual unpleasant pull outward acted upon me by this deeply buried compulsive behavior I had been battling with for years. My gratitude goes to her for her help in that big progress…
But I am now in a different mood yet: irresistible self-absorption into the deepest and most fulfilling Core of our divine Being, this Sat-Chit-Ananda that sustains and nourishes every part of Itself within Itself, simply with the infinite Power of What It Is. In the Graeco-Latin mythology I learned as a child, the invincible Antee drew his incredible force from the Earth itself, and so needed to remain in constant contact with it not to be defeated; well, in my own case it is from my True Origin and Total Self, the Divine, our common Ultimate Reality, that I draw any energy I may have for surviving in this physical outer world. My reliance upon That is growing day by day, that Bliss particularly the Power of the Divine I long to myself experience and radiate more and more constantly.
The weather outside is greyish today, not an invitation either to being very active externally… I just have to finish the dishes so that all the compartments of my ‘tiffin carrier’, as they say in India, are clean and put together again when Mani, my daily helper, comes and picks it up to place it at Fraternity, the neighboring community designated for this purpose, among all the other ones also waiting to be taken by a small van to Auroville’s big main canteen, the Solar Kitchen, which will send me and the others our lunch… Then some laundry needs also to be done with the washing machine after those fifteen days of two people living here… Oh, and my bed isn’t done yet, my checking up my mail first this morning, which is unusual, plus this inward tendency so strong now for having been more or less suppressed lately, made me simply forget all about my bed afterwards… well, actually this bed not done yet feels very much like an invitation to go back straight in there, doesn’t it?!? *Chuckle*… No, that wouldn’t be it, I don’t need to sleep more, but perhaps just to lie down a little, the position I like best for enjoying fully the Bliss whenever it comes…
Oh come on now, you clever procrastinator, enough lazying around: to the dishes!
It’s no big deal, I do love washing the dishes – as long as they aren’t too many, of course…
One hour later, I am back not only from doing the dishes, but also from eating the improvised lunch (light but sufficient) that I gathered from various left-over items in my fridge, after I suddenly remembered that today being Sunday, nothing will come from the Solar Kitchen!… My stomach, not yet used to a diet of only Ananda, is satisfied, the physical nutrients still needed by my physical cells as well, are duly provided to them, I can return to this article devoted to Ananda as my other kind of Food, a non-physical one for sure, but nevertheless already as important if not more for me than the physical one.
In the meantime I have also realized that tomorrow will be January 6th, the anniversary of the date when I found my inner Name: Bhaga… Probably one more reason why I am in this peculiar condition today: I seem to be somehow preparing for this Name Birthday, as ‘Bhaga’ is one of the names used in Sanskrit for this Bliss I am already experiencing more than usual today…!
It all started with checking out a new Facebook friend’s Timeline; there happened to be a link to a site dedicated to an Indian Saint, now not any more in her physical body, whom I have always been attracted to: Sri Anandamayi Ma. On that site I finally found and immediately watched a video of Anandamayi Ma, simply made of photos of her flowing into each other, the whole thing quite moving for me because precisely of the Bliss visibly emanating from her face and her whole body. The singing and music going with it I found quite nice too, so I just listened to it now with the addition of good earphones instead of straight from my laptop’s less rich voice… Beautiful! I couldn’t manage technically to bring that video right here, but at least it is now added on my own Facebook Timeline:
Here is also the same video on Youtube:
Watching that video reminded me at once of the equally wonderful image of Mother, the one Sri Aurobindo called the Mother, her face also suffused with the same Bliss… I found it again on my Timeline, and that picture I chose immediately as the starting-point for this post.
May it all do as much good to you as it does to me.