Introducing my own Inner Family

At the end of my previous post, which was about ‘The Rich Complexity of our Being’, I called all those various inner parts of us, in a half joking manner,  our ‘Inner Family’… A rather dysfunctional one to start with, it seems, for most of us!… But let’s not lose hope: harmony can be learned, also within ourselves, through the practice of the Integral Yoga meant  precisely for that integral transformation.

Well, over the years I started having vague impressions of what the main inner parts of me looked like, so to say, or rather what they felt like to me, but for long it remained a very vague, blurry kind of picture, never reaching the stage of a clear one for any of them.

But then something happened in the last few years, which enables me today to introduce you to at least some of those members of my Inner Family, with , lo and behold, some actual (symbolic) images of them!!!

What happened is that since many-many years I have been keeping notes of my dreams and of my experiences at the cellular level. For keeping regularly such an important record for my research work about Conscious Evolution, I regularly got quite simply some little notebooks, the kind that kids use in school, from our internal small general store in Auroville.

For years the covers were photos of beautiful landscapes from all over the world, for awakening a concern for the environment in the kids who would use them. It was really nicely done. I myself enjoyed a lot looking at those spectacular places on the Earth that I would probably never visit, but at least I could know of and admire that way.

But one day when I needed soon a new notebook and went looking for one, all that was available was in a completely different style: the covers now were amusing drawings, probably more likely to attract children. Most of them didn’t attract me at all, though. Until I found one that immediately made me laugh out loud, right in the store, with the joy of recognition:

‘But this is my mental being!!!’ I exclaimed under my breath, and started smiling at it with total glee. The drawing was this one:

Image 2

I loved it!!! Without an instant of hesitation, I took it home and was eager to start using it when the previous one did come to an end.

This notebook was quite thick actually, so it stayed with me for an enjoyable rather long time, although I wrote on it daily, and often quite lengthy entries. But still after a while I had to go and find the next one…

This time, no funny drawings on the covers of the available notebooks. A different style again, and not inspiring at all. None of those that I looked at I liked, so what to do?… I kept still looking in the little pile. And suddenly, down at the very bottom, what I saw took my breath away. It was this:

Image 1

‘Oh my, a Unicorn!… What a beauty… So powerful, yet so calmly at rest in that lovely protected clearing, in that soft Soul Light… Wow, this must be a symbolic image for something of my Soul, of my Psychic Being! This picture is a pure Blessing from the Divine. I’m taking this home.’

There was one more notebook with the very same cover, of course I gladly added it to the first one.

Those two were again of the thick kind, so they took care of my daily notes for quite a few months. It was pure bliss to look at the cover every time I would use these two notebooks, the second one right after the first was finished. When still finally the time to find a new one came once more, it was with a heavy heart that I went again to that notebook shelf in the store: how could I ever find anything as great as that so resplendent and peaceful Unicorn?…

Surprise: the funny drawings were back on the covers for the whole new pile that was there. I sighed. Would I find again something at least worthwhile, even if only again in that funny style?

Almost at once it came up, quite funny indeed, and yet so charming in its own way:


Just a split second looking at it, and then I knew, and smiled a huge, sweet grin of recognition again: this was my emotional being, of course! Unmistakable, in every detail of it, just like for the one I had found before that was also such a perfect image of my mental being!!!

I had to laugh softly, thinking of my emotional being so wonderfully rendered in that unexpected but so true portrait of it!…. ‘But wait a minute’, I suddenly thought, ‘what does that mean, getting now this specific little cover after the two wonderful Unicorns?’ Well, I had some idea what it meant, and I wasn’t sure I liked it: it meant that after the wonderful, long inner period that had rested and reinforced my inner strength and purity of purpose – right at the cellular level of my being – the Divine was now warning me somehow, with a smile, through this new so cute and amusing little cover, that my emotional being was going to get some further training, probably so as to be reinforced and purified too!

The ‘Unicorn’ period was still not over, as the second one of those notebooks was still only halfway through, so I kind of forgot what was likely to come next for my sadhana, But several weeks back the second ‘Unicorn’ notebook did come to an end and then came the turn of the cute, sweet girly teddy-bear all in pink, with her pink heart balloon begging for love just as her shy smile did…

My visitors here on this blog know only of the emotional shocks I mentioned, which related to Blogging, but of course that vulnerability is there also in other areas of my life, in an extreme way that as a young adult I soon saw had no cause at all in this lifetime. As I discovered later in Auroville (while in a deliberate trance), it is actually one of the two major ancient problems from another life, that I scripted myself to take up again in this lifetime, knowing that my deep spiritual progress this time around would enable me at last to heal that scarred and scared part of myself once and for all.

Well, when that waiting little notebook came finally to be used, oh my, that was it indeed!!! Since that month of July, emotional shocks from the most unexpected quarters have simply rained on me like hail. I was grateful to the Divine that thanks to this gentle but so clear warning through the new notebook’s cover, I was ready, and didn’t take anything too badly…! As you may have noticed in the end of my post about the shocks related to Blogging, a very liberating sense of humor started even to express itself about it all, right in my emotional being itself… So it is still for the time being a ‘Work in progress’, no doubt, but it is progressing indeed!

Now that you have some idea of what at least those main members of my Inner Family are like in my own case, what I will describe in future posts of the evolutive process as experienced by each of them will be, I hope, a livelier and funnier read, while giving you also, most importantly, a good example of what the Integral Yoga means in daily life…




8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mahi
    Sep 10, 2017 @ 16:49:24

    It is a pleasure to meet your Inner family! A cheerful ‘hello!’ and big hug to all 😁Thank you for your extreme openess and for having them introduced to us!

    Very instructive for me to also look for a visual representation of the different parts of my being in order to follow their growth and transformation, hopefully, if they are not too stubborn and allow to be raised by The Mother😉

    Liked by 1 person


    • Bhaga
      Sep 11, 2017 @ 10:22:39

      My Inner Family members send you a big collective Thank You for your cheerful appreciation, Mahi, and say that they like you too!… And no, they are not too stubborn, especially because they love the Mother! ❤



  2. Rick Lipschutz
    Sep 12, 2017 @ 19:22:10

    Dear Bhaga, this is Amanda, Rick’s partner and editor, to whom I just read out this post after reading out “The Rich Complexity of Our Being”: “Thank you for showing us this window into you that shows me someone not so different from me! I, too, find these, what I call “presents from God” every once in a while. Often when I’m going along with some problem that’s bothering me. Actually quite often. I see this thing that speaks to me, a sign that God is paying attention. Sometimes a sublimely beautiful thing, sometimes something ridiculously cute. But they all have a purpose. Let other people ridicule. So what—their problem. Keep up the good work. It’s much appreciated! — Mandy Emerson

    Liked by 1 person


    • Bhaga
      Sep 13, 2017 @ 08:30:25

      It is rather interesting and funny, Amanda/Mandy, that you are posting this comment here at exactly the same time as I am trying to copy here Rick’s own comment posted on my FB Page!!! Not sure yet why it didn’t get posted as a part of a comment of mine, but at least now your comment is there!… Thank you! You are quite right of course, my mind knows it very well… but the usual reactions are habits, sometimes very deeply engraved ones, and they don”t disappear fully in one day…!!!



  3. Bhaga
    Sep 13, 2017 @ 08:35:32

    Actually a comment by Rick Lipschutz himself, copied here:

    I believe, as you do, there is no better ,more effective approach long term to transforming the whole being, than the Integral Yoga. Even the wounded child—bypassing none but transforming all. I think it’s brave, honest, useful to others to share some of the difficulties on the dauntless path towards of the full being we will one day be. Thank you so much, Bhaga, I seldom hear a voice like yours—no on this plane anyway. And it is well written, and you are funny!



  4. silrakk
    Sep 14, 2017 @ 03:28:22

    Bhaga, From some teaching i read it said that there are something like 5-6 of these valances composing who we believe ourselves to be. So you have at least 2 more to go. I did this exercise but i can’t remember how many i found, or what notebook it’s in.
    Yes, keep up the good work.



    • Bhaga
      Sep 14, 2017 @ 06:32:11

      There are many more than 5-6, as each of the main ones has also its sub-parts, as Sri Aurobindo explains in another text of his.
      Each spiritual teacher makes his/her own count and categorization according to the actual aim they have and what parts they deem relevant for achieving that specific aim: Ramana Maharshi, for example, focused only on that central aim he had achieved, the discovery of the Self, so everything else was in his eyes totally superfluous: he didn’t care much about the full set of chakras each individual has, which are on the contrary so important as soon as you aim at an actual transformation of your outer nature, and all the more if you include the physical body. Ramana didn’t care at all about the physical body; to his understanding of things the very idea of any kind of transformation was preposterous, absurd. But if not everyone has to agree with Si Aurobindo and Mother’s evolutive, and so, integral aim, not everyone has to agree to Raman’ Maharshi’s much more limited aim either… It’ up to each individual to decide what they want-once they are at least informed that there is a choice to be made, because the result will be quite different depending on the aim and the method.



  5. Trackback: How My Inner Family Got Suddenly Extended Beyond Time and Space | Lab of Evolution

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