Natalie Sudman’s NDE,Robert Monroe’s OBEs & Seth’s Teachings through Jane Roberts

I have recently studied with a lot of interest Dr. Eben Alexander’s first book, ‘Proof of Heaven’, about his extraordinary 2006 NDE during the seven days he remained in coma, his neo-cortex completely destroyed by a sudden attack of a very rare and usually fatal bacterial meningitis; his survival had been quite an unexpected miracle, surpassed only by the full and fast recovery that followed, and the complete change in his understanding of life as well of death.

Just as for the equally important book by Anita Moorjani, ‘Dying to be me’, it had been on a Tuesday afternoon that I had found this great book, while on duty at our excellent specialized Research Library, in the present main space of the ‘Laboratory of Evolution’, the Research and Documentation Center in Auroville that I founded in 1984 and am still heading, but now busy mostly with the research aspect of the work. .

Well, two days ago, it was again Tuesday afternoon, and so the day of my weekly duty  participating in the Library work. At the end of it, just upon leaving, I was thrilled to stumble upon a second book by Eben Alexander, titled this time ‘The Map of Heaven’, and I took it of course at once. Back home, I eagerly went through it within the next few.hours before sleeping.

The next morning, which was yesterday, I read it all over again, to ascertain some of the  important facts mentioned that had particularly struck me already the first time.

One of those facts was a specific quote by a Natalie Sudman, the NDE of whom Eben was saying had been especially extraordinary and deep. Armed with the intriguing title of Natalie’s own book, ‘Application of Impossible Things’ (!),  I went to my office downstairs,.googled it along with the name of the author, and spent the whole afternoon watching YouTube videos of her being interviewed by various  show hosts. Then I had to stop for it was getting late, but today I resumed watching, and ended up applauding full heartedly with the audience for a talk I had just watched her giving, after a short introduction by the elderly lady host:

As I am myself an ‘experiencer too, and on top of it a researcher on this NDE topic since decades, besides practicing a spiritual path of conscious evolution, the ‘Integral Yoga’, since even longer, I would say I know quite a lot, so I didn’t really learn anything I hadn’t at least read about before.

But what won my total enthusiasm was that this young lady proved to be a living example of experiences I have read about only in the explanations or descriptions given by Sri Aurobindo and his feminine counterpart, the Mother; and later on, from the mid-sixties to the mid-eighties, by the discarnate entity calling himself Seth, in the brilliant books he dictated through an entranced young lady, at first rather bewildered: Jane Roberts.

The third source I know some specific facts described by Natalie were reported also by, is Robert Monroe, founder of The Monroe Institute (TMI), and I noticed some specific expressions that he used in his OBE books were used as well by Natalie during her talks.

All those sources I have just listed out are by far the deepest and most encompassing teachings I know of, so this gives an idea of the truly incredible level of understanding that Natalie demonstrates, of all those “impossible things” she speaks about, for not only she experienced them during her NDE and remembered them after it, but she is able to articulate her descriptions and explanations of them in terms simple enough to be grasped, to some extent at least, by her audiences, starting with her hosts. Her own remarkable simplicity and tremendous sense of fun, whether in or out of her body, are also irresistibly contagious, which is wonderful, for it helps to immediately diffuse and lighten up the apparent gravity of some of her statements, sometimes so stunning as to be altogether shocking if it were not for the total matter-of-fact way she presents it all and then explains it too…

Well, a big thank you to Dr. Eben Alexander, not only for this new book of his, very interesting and moving in its own right (it even evokes a new step in our terrestrial evolution), but also for introducing me to this quite remarkable indeed other NDExperiencer! I hope you, my visitors, have enjoyed, or will enjoy the video above as much as I did… to the point perhaps of writing down below your own comments about it (the button for doing that is actually above, at the beginning of each post, in the left margin…!).

And now I am going back to my room upstairs, for some dinner and later some sleep as well, but with a deep feeling of happiness, for having been treated the whole day with such a nicely filling diet of the “impossible things” I too relish living and hearing about…



The Variety of Spiritual Experiences Lived by the Eternal Me in this Lifetime (put in chronological order)

Why such a fun use of William James’ so well-known (and deservedly so) title for his major book?

Well, I am actually being inspired by him through that title of his, and by the example from some other individuals for presenting my experiences in chronological order:

During the full first week of October I have found myself immersed in a sea of small children’s or adults’ verified accounts of past lives, followed at once by an ocean of great OBEs from various contemporary persons (this time, other than my beloved Bob Monroe of TMI fame), all discovered just one after the other in an amazing uninterrupted flow that wonderfully fed my inner being all day long, day after day, for that whole week.

Always the same stupendous conclusion reached by those who had described their experiences in the various books and/or videos presented on internet, all of which I kept stumbling upon and enjoying like the many dishes of a great buffet. That so important conclusion, summarized here in my own words, was:

We aren’t really just human beings; we are actually eternal spirits, spiritual beings only temporarily using a human physical body to experience a new lifetime on Earth and as soon as we possibly can, become aware again of this central Fact: the One Spirit that we all really are…

Basking in those big waves of Truth being realized and revealed by so many of us in our present otherwise so difficult times of Change, I sat back and began remembering some of my own inner experiences, starting with the one when I was just a newborn… It suddenly dawned on me that my visitors here might like to have it all in chronological order too, like the experiences told by those other people: that might make more sense than having them only the way they are now, that is, simply dispersed here or there with no order at all, just as I happened to post them among the many other evolution-related topics I have been posting about since I began this blog in 2011.

So here is a special post where one will be able to find, finally in the correct chronological order, the links to all the relevant dispersed posts describing one spiritual experience or the other lived in my current lifetime… and sometimes linked with another lifetime! In this increasingly collective awakening that we human beings are presently experiencing, it feels more and more normal and useful to share the growing inner knowledge we are acquiring through our direct individual experiences. It seems to be a good way to help build our Human Unity, through our very diversity…

Once put up first with at least a few of the links to whatever relevant posts are already there, this special post will probably, later, be turned into a permanent Page so that I can update it whenever there is need to add to it more of those links to old posts – or also links to new ones, every time relevant new posts may come up as my blog continues to unfold.

I’m quite glad about this idea, so I’m realizing it right now…  To read all that follows, including every post listed, is obviously going to take quite some time, so allow me to suggest that you take it in not in just one, but perhaps rather in several sittings… but of course it’s up to you. Here we go !…


  • Eternal Souls | FaithbookNZ

I’ll begin with of course first of all the link to that very first memory,  quite revealing, of when I was a mere newborn baby, or something like that:

I grew up to be a very God-attracted child, perceiving spontaneously and joyfully God’s presence in my soul and that of others, and in all the lovely little or big things of nature too: tiny bugs, butterflies, the Sun even, to which at seven I wrote an Hymn…  I loved also to go to Mass on Sundays with my parents and elder sister, loving especially the songs, when they were sung with real fervor; we lived normally in West Africa, the parts that were then French colonies, but whenever my father got some long vacation from his work there in the high levels of the French Administration, we would go back to France for several months, going of course to Mass also there, wherever we would happen to be:

Next came, in my early teen years, a few very special moments which only much later I realized had been actually spontaneous but massive spiritual experiences:

One I related towards the end of the following post, you will see why:

And another one again, during the same period, still a young teenager in Africa:

Soon after that period, the colonial era started to reach its end all over the world; my parents stayed in Africa, now a bit unsafe, for a while more with their still very young son, but we, the two elder sisters, remained in Paris under the care of our paternal grandmother for two years, until our parents and little brother came back too. I am not sure if I have narrated yet in any post the intense, deep inner joys I secretly kept having everyday during those two years lived at my grandmother’s place, visiting on my own the nearby parish church at a time it was always empty. If I see that this is missing, I’ll definitely write about it and add the link here some time soon…

When my parents and little brother came, except for my grandmother we all moved out to a very charming area outside of Paris, the modern buildings part of which (where we lived, in a beautiful park) surrounded the medieval village still existing on top of the central hill; the small church there, very ancient, had an extraordinary atmosphere to it, I loved to be there, among the Sunday Mass crowd or on my own any other time. Soon a baby sister completed our family; within a few years I could share with the two kids the joy and emotion of standing in front of the church’s beautifully made creches during every Christmas time…

Paris was only a half hour away by train, to attend secondary school still, or to accompany sometimes my father in his visits to various holy places there, for example sites of apparitions of the Virgin Mary. We didn’t communicate much otherwise, but at least in those visits we could share our silent inner feelings towards the Divine!

Becoming a young adult, I wanted to be a nun in a contemplative Order like the Carmelites; but after a while the perspective of having a Mother Superior rule my inner relationship to God made me think twice… and in the meantime, as a La Sorbonne University student, and then finally a young teacher, I was out of the protected family nest. I did discover the deep beauty of the American Negro-Spirituals and Gospels from a La Sorbonne fellow student (oh, how much I loved, and still love, ‘In the Upper Room’, by Mahalia Jackson…) but that was about all I found comforting at that time: confronted suddenly with all the harsh realities of the world we humans had built for ourselves, I was basically horrified. I couldn’t figure out how to reconcile such a monstrous, insane world situation with the God I knew from direct personal experience to be everywhere and in everybody just as in myself. Although I had no problems in my personal life, my intensifying perplexity and revolt about the total nonsense Life seemed to be, led me as a young teacher to the point of demanding answers from God to a few pointed questions I had – or I would end my life. To that ultimatum God responded beautifully, and within a mere few months ‘The Life Divine’, by Sri Aurobindo, was brought to me, giving me in a flash of instantaneous illumination the full meaning and explanation that at once made Life worthwhile again. All posts relevant to that period will be added here if I find any… or I’ll have to write some!

After that huge, decisive turning-point, I found out about Auroville and although I was extremely fearful and reluctant to go live, of all places, in mysterious India (no one was going there at that time), my inner being won and dragged all the other parts of me, kicking and screaming, all the way here in August 1972… just in time, without knowing it, to have on the 15th, which happened to be Sri Aurobindo’s Birth Centenary, my very first ‘Darshan’, as I explain in the last part of this post:

So, as you will see again in the following two super-important posts, the Mother was still alive then. In fact, one could even have a silent meeting with her on one’s birthday; but at the time I couldn’t care less…! The Divine had to arrange it all in a different, totally unexpected way for me to finally meet her, at the very last possible moment, on November 18th, 1973:

After such an incredible breakthrough, what remained to happen was the full opening of my Heart Center deep within me, where I would find the Mother again, but this time in the much more intimate way also required for constant contact and guidance. This too happened, not even two years later, in a rather dramatic but very effective manner:

A short while after this new breakthrough, as the tremendous strength of that experience started to fade away, I went for a complete stop of all my outer activities to urgently try and regain the so precious result of that dramatic NDE lived only a few weeks before… and once again a flabbergasting result did come:

(the needed post will be added here later on…).

In 1976, to my complete stupefaction, I came for the first time in contact with the consciousness of my body-cells, who in 1977 – hardly a year later – stupefied me again by starting to turn towards the Divine just on their own!… Over the years, this became secretly but ever increasingly a whole new aspect of my/our inner life, adding itself to all the rest already going on…

As my blog has a special Category for these ‘Cellular Consciousness’ experiences, please click on that category if you want to read actual posts about that. In the same way, there is a Category called ‘My Far Memories’, to which you may refer if you want to know more, so I’ll mention here only the main posts about other lifetimes I have had hints or vivid memories to have lived:

In 1984 it so happened that I had to start in Auroville the proposed ‘Laboratory of Evolution’ for it to begin to exist. Among the first few Research Newsletters I have been able to put together in the following years, one was about the Being that grows in all of us from the original spark of the Soul or Psyche, and that Sri Aurobindo and the Mother for that very reason call the ‘Psychic Being’ (the Being of the Soul). Already in my childhood some other lifetimes had vaguely surfaced in various ways, but  when in Auroville, while putting together that specific LOE Research Newsletter, one precise moment of a specific other life was re-lived ‘big time’, as you will see:

A few years later, in completely different circumstances, it was a lifetime where I met yet another great embodiment here of the Divine, that wonderfully surfaced, explaining why the name of that Being had come spontaneously to my lips in my first inner encounter with Him in my current lifetime; the other lifetime concerned seemed quite ancient:

Some historical research later on from my part confirmed that Sri Krishna may have indeed lived in that area in the remote past considered:

The inner relationship with both these great Beings, Jesus and Krishna, as well of course as with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, continues to this day, as several more posts on my blog abundantly show, which I may list here later on. I will add now only the one I wrote after reading the NDE of another blogger, with whom I felt like sharing personally my own observations and conclusions:

But in spite of my inner relationship with my physical cells as well, one thing seemed to be missing in my present personality: the inner contact with the Earth itself; it is only in a much more recent time that such kinds of experiences began to happen, like in the three cases described in the following two posts (sorry, the first one seems to be only in French as yet…):

My inner link with the other members of my family has revealed itself in various occasions, some of which I told of only covertly, for obvious reasons, but one of which I openly mentioned in a post regarding my elder sister, written after she went back to the vaster Reality a few years ago:

Our relationship with the Supreme Divine Itself feels actually like ‘family’ too: it can have the very same character of sweet, simple tenderness, as we have seen with the peacock feather as a token of Krishna’s love and genuine appreciation, a reassuring and encouraging concrete sign given to me when I needed it most…

Yet another very small but so significant occurrence, that happened quite recently, will serve to exemplify again how one’s own life, in its tiniest details, keeps being a constant sweet reminder of the Divine’s smiling care for our every need, a care shown in the most amazing ways:

I’ll stop at that for the time being… Thank you for following me that far! 🙂

Bob Monroe’s Guardian Angels

Bob Monroe hadn’t always been able to converse telepathically with those evolved beings he called ‘INSPECS’ or any other being invisible to our physical eyes. That was to come much later.

But there had been some occasions in his recent past when he had had the definite feeling that something had happened that wasn’t explicable in terms of ordinary physical laws. In two of those mysterious occasions, which he lists out and narrates at the beginning of his second book, ‘Far Journeys’, the inexplicable event had been one of protection of his life


‘Item: In our house at Whistlefield Farm, there was a screened porch off
the living room. To get to the porch, one had to go through two double
doors and down a series of flagstone steps that led to the porch at a lower
level. These steps were quite steep, the difference in floor height being
approximately four feet.
One morning, with my arms full of books and papers, I walked out the
entrance to the porch and stumbled. My left foot crossed over in front of
my right, and I dove headlong in the direction of the flagstone floor of the
porch. As I fell I was unable to get my arms out in front of me. I remember
thinking, “Well, this will certainly end up with a fractured skull and a
broken neck.”
About six inches from the floor, my fall was suddenly arrested and I
landed on my head and shoulders very lightly on the flagstone floor, no
heavier than if I had simply put my head down very carefully. The rest of
my body then draped down afterward, drifting as gently as a feather. I lay
there for a moment wondering what had happened. I felt my head and my
shoulders and there was no pain, no mark, no bruise, nothing. I stood up,
picked up my books and papers, looked at the place from where I had
fallen, and tried to figure some answer. Something had cushioned my fall,
but I certainly was not consciously aware of what it was.
Some months later in the middle of winter, a similar event took place. I
was walking down the front steps, which had been reportedly cleaned after
a snow, slipped, and started to fall. This time I was not quite so surprised

when I again landed very lightly. There have been only two such events,
and I don’t think I will deliberately try to fall experimentally.’

When I read this passage in Bob Monroe’s book, the incidents he described reminded me immediately of the very similar incidents narrated about her own childhood by the Mother in her ‘Agenda’: the ones I just posted up in my previous post. I am now deliberately posting those two specific extraordinary incidents in Bob Monroe’s life, so that all my visitors can see the obvious similarity.

In the first case mentioned by Bob, the ‘angels’ or whatever they were had to override not only the strong probability of the accident, but on top of that also Bob’s own quite negative inner prognostic on the outcome of his headlong fall towards the stone!… At least in the examples from Mother, she was still a very young girl, and, as she herself says, she still had the inner strength of her inner beliefs or rather certitudes, based on the strong inner influence of the Psychic Being, the Being of the Soul. For Bob, an adult with all the now normal materialistic beliefs of our contemporary scientific world, the angels must have had quite a tougher job at protecting him!… But still they did…


Angels? Flavio etc say they have NO WINGS

Something important we have to realize and rectify in the traditional image we get from our various cultures about the Angels: they do exist, oh yes, but they have NO wings… because they don’t need any for floating or flying around as they do.

Their body, not being physical, is weightless and moves just at will, with tremendous speed, to wherever they want to go. No need of wings for that at all.

It is exactly the same, by the way, for any of us human beings when we are between two incarnations and so, don’t have a physical body either; or also during an incarnation, when we are temporarily out of our body for whatever reason.  For example, even simply in our dreams, when we are flying, it is not an illusion, and it has nothing to do with any freudian symbolic sexual activity but it is real flying, something that happens very easily and frequently when we have gone out of our body during our sleep and are going around simply in our subtle body, which is weightless as it is not composed of physical matter and is not subject to the effect of Gravity.

In the recent Oscar-awarded beautiful thriller movie, ‘GRAVITY’,  happening way out in Space, we could see how away from the Earth’s gravitational field the bodies of the astronauts weighed nothing and were floating in the space of the cabin together with their tools, their tumblers and whatever drinks should have been in them, if they were not kept down solidly with the various straps and other devices provided for that purpose. It was even worse outside of the spaceship, because there in Space itself the slightest wrong movement could send an astronaut very far away from the vicinity of the ship, and cause him or her to be lost for ever; their only safety was the strong cable they were attached to, connecting them to the ship so as to prevent such a horrible death from happening.

In the movie, the woman-astronaut ultimately sole survivor from the ship after its accident, has to spend long hours all alone in Space facing constantly the effects of non-gravity, that make everything and every maneuver more difficult and more dangerous for her as the situation keeps worsening, At the end of the film, when finally she has gone victoriously through it all and she manages a precarious landing of her ejected capsule… into the ocean, but luckily near the coast, she swims slowly to the shore and arriving at last on the beach, emerges first on all four, and only then staggers to her feet, overjoyed to be still alive, but thoroughly exhausted, savoring now fully her renewed experience of the contact with the Earth, and with… GRAVITY.

Yes, we usually take Gravity for granted while going about our daily life; but even while we are in physical bodies there seem to be specific conditions under which the physical body itself isn’t subject any more to Gravity and is able to temporarily  float above the ground, in a breaking of normal physical laws that is called ‘levitation’, recorded since millennia all over the planet. Many saints of the Catholic faith have been known to levitate in that way, often against their own will and with total embarrassment at the understandable fame such a feat was giving them, sometimes attracting huge crowds eager to watch the phenomenon occur. In various other cultures too, especially from Asia, Tibet for example, monks and generally holy people are known to often have that capacity. It is as if the inner contact of the soul with the Spirit pervading all, is somehow in those instances communicated to the body too, in a way that neutralizes the normal effects of Gravity on Matter.

Well, as far as Angels are concerned, the problem of Gravity simply doesn’t arise at all,  on the contrary it is floating and flying that are the normality in their non-physical reality. But to our human physical rationality this cannot be done without wings of some sort like the birds have, the only creatures we know that are able to fly. As Angels do have all around them and particularly all around the upper part of their body the white brilliance that their luminous being emanates naturally, that radiance could easily be interpreted and represented on pictures as resplendent white wings, and it is indeed what is shown on the many paintings we have of Angels from many centuries past.

So what nowadays has come to be considered the most important sign that makes you recognize the human-like being in front of you as an Angel, is that this being has wings.

What transpires from all more recent testimonies, though,  and even from some old ones, is that Angels actually have no wings at all. Their real main characteristic as Angels is rather the Light that they are constituted of, which makes them look like the flame of a candle, except for their usual huge size (two meters at least, unless for some reason they have chosen to appear in a smaller form than the one they truly have).

In the 1993 worldwide best-seller from French journalist Pierre Jovanovic, ‘Enquete sur l’Existence des Anges Gardiens’, of the saints, old or new, and of the Near Death Experiencers who are listed out as having all had a conscious contact with an Angel, and more specifically with their own Guardian Angel, quite a few haven’t seen but only heard Him or Her. But of all those who have also seen It, only some have seen It with the wings they traditionally are supposed to have. In most cases it is on the contrary noticed that they DON’T have wings, but this doesn’t disturb the viewer at all as the light and love they radiate are proof enough of what they are.

Already when reading the second book about his OBEs by Robert Monroe, ‘Far Journeys’, published in 1985, I had noted the passage where  in an out of body state he talks with one of those advanced beings he calls jokingly for himself  ‘INSPECS’ (Intelligent Species…!) for the first time directly within the boundaries of their own space, thanks to them reducing considerably their actually very hot light so that he can come that far without melting. This time he is trying all he can to elucidate what ‘THEY’ are, by putting inwardly to his ‘INSPEC’ friend all the questions he can, as precisely as he can, and the ‘INSPEC’ answers in the same inner,  telepathic way. At some point the dialogue goes like this, following Bob Monroe’s meandering thoughts after having taken this very bold step of going much further than usual towards those beings he loves and reveres tremendously:

‘This was becoming an event not anything like what I expected. I was rapidly losing my sense of awe. It was replaced with a great feeling of warmth, of understanding, much on the order of old deep friendships, yet filled with intense respect, not the usual pattern of expected angels, if that is what THEY were.

(We can quickly grow some wings if you wish.)

No, no, please, no wings. No halos either, although I get the clear percept, staring at my INSPEC – friend?…

(At least that, for now)

I could understand how humans with limited but definite momentary super-vision could add a halo to make the human-formed INSPEC stand out as different. A brightly radiant form? How often in human history has such a perception taken place? Miracle workers, saints, local medicine-men, and last-timers on their final run, no doubt.

(No doubt at all.)’

With the same compassionate sense of humor,  the entity calling himself Seth, in ‘Seth Speaks’, channeled by Jane Roberts, explains how, when receiving the confused souls of newly deceased humans, he and other spirits responsible for welcoming them and orienting them in that other dimension of Reality were often at first putting on some wings so as to meet the expectations most newly-dead persons would have of seeing angels, angels who would of course have wings to qualify as proper angels. Only for souls that didn’t have such an expectation, or who after some time wouldn’t have it any longer, were the welcoming beings free to remain as they truly were: without wings.

Of course it is the same with the souls arriving there just for a short while during a Near Death Experience (NDE), as quite a few NDErs have seen for themselves and have reported later on with surprise…

As for our two dear young brothers from Buenos Aires, Markos and Flavio (see previous posts), both could see Angels when they were still little, and the Angels they saw either out of the window or up there with God were easily recognizable loving bright lights, but without wings either.

It has been very difficult for me to find through my google search  for this post a representation of an Angel that would show Him or Her without wings. Between all the innumerable winged angels, including the two extreme distortions which were  a-plenty too among them, on the one hand of the sexy, seductive, bare-breasted she-angels and on the other hand of the cute baby-angels so sickeningly sweet and insignificant they were meaningless, I was glad to finally find a decent Angel worthy of that name, with some visible Inner Light… and a radiating aura instead of wings! All my gratitude to the human artist who was inspired to make this painting of the awesome Being I’ll henceforth call ‘The Beautiful Blue Angel’:


Image taken, with gratitude, from anges | larevolutioninterieure



Bob Monroe’s ‘Return to Source’: the Inward-Outward Flow of Divine Love

Painting by Polona Somrak, 'Ascension Pioneers'

Painting by Polona Somrak, ‘Ascension Pioneers’

People interested in Spirituality might dismiss Out of Body Experiences (OBEs)  with contempt as having nothing to do with genuine Spirituality, the contact with the Divine, etc.

Well, they might be the victims of the contemporary tendency to categorize everything into separate compartments that do not allow anymore the flexibility and even fluidity of approach required for the study of those various inner phenomena that are all part of the vast Continuum of the One Reality we are studying… There are no rigid frontiers between all of them, but those frontiers only that our mind imagines to be there.

The main, central reason why I love Robert Monroe’s supposedly ‘OBE’ books so much, is that under their apparently just scientific style, they are an ongoing inquiry about the very meaning and purpose of Life, not only on Earth but also Beyond. Consequently, because of the utmost sincerity and eagerness of Bob Monroe himself, his books are actually full with absolutely astonishing spiritual experiences, as he is gradually and very carefully trained by the Light Beings he calls INSPECs (his mentors during his OBEs) to stand the increasing ‘unbearableness’ of the experiences he himself asks for one after the other, but usually without realizing in advance what an overwhelming intensity of experience he will be in for, if his request is granted…!

Here is the description by Bob in his second book, ‘Far Journeys’, of such an experience, so tremendously beautiful and moving it always brings tears to my eyes whenever I read it again:

(I am in a bright white tunnel and moving rapidly. No, it is not a tunnel,
but a tube, a transparent, radiating tube. I am bathed in the radiation which
courses through all of me, and the intensity and recognition of it envelop
my consciousness and I laugh with great joy. Something has changed, because
the last time, they had to shield me from the random vibration of it.
Now, I can tolerate it easily, the actual energy itself. The radiation flow is
two-directional in the tube. The flow moving past me in the direction from
which I came is smooth, even, and undiluted. The flow that I am is moving
in the opposite direction and appears much different. It is organized in a
more complex form. It is the same as the wave moving past me, but it
contains a multitude of small waves impressed upon the basic. I am both
the basic and the small waveforms, moving back to the source. The movement
is steady and unhurried, impelled by a desire I know but cannot
express. I vibrate with joyous ecstasy just by the knowing.
(The tube seems to become larger as another joins it from one side, and
another waveform melds into me and we become one. I recognize the other
immediately, as it does me, and there is the great excitement of reunion,
this other I and I. How could I have forgotten this! We move along together,
happily exploring the adventures, experience, and knowledge of the
other. The tube widens again, and another I joins us, and the process
repeats itself. Our waveforms are remarkably identical and our pattern
grows stronger as they move in phase. There are variegations in each which,
when combined with another related anomaly, create a new and important
modification of the total that we are.
(The tube expands again and I am no longer concerned with its walls as
still another I enters the waveform flow. This is particularly exciting, as it is
the first I perceive as returning from a completely nonhuman sojourn. Yet
the intermesh was near-perfect and we became so much more. Now we
know that, somewhere, a consciously controlled physical tail, much like a
monkey’s, is useful in ways far more than balance and acting as a third
hand for holding things. It can be a very efficient means of communication
far beyond a super sign language just as eloquent as the spoken word.
(Steadily and surely, one I after another joins us. With each, we become
more aware and remember more of the total. How many does not seem
important. Our knowledge and ability is so great that we do not bother to
contemplate it. It is not important. We are one.
(With this, we divert from the underlying waveform and move away from
it. We watch motionless in unified respect as the action of it continues away
from us into an infinity. We also perceive easily the smooth originating
wave coming from such infinity and dissolving into the pattern from whence
we came.

(Flowing through all of us is a coherent energy that is our creation, that
displays immensely the reality of the whole as far greater than the sum of
the parts. Our ability and knowledge seem without limit, yet we know at
this point such is valid only within the energy systems of our experience.
We can create time as we wish or the need arises, reshaping and modifying
within the percept itself. We can create matter from other energy patterns,
or change the structure thereof to any degree desired, including reversion to
original form. We can create, enhance, alter, modulate, or eradicate any
percept within the energy fields of our experience. We can transform any
such energy fields one into another or others except for that which we are.
We cannot create or comprehend our prime energy until we are complete.
(We can create physical patterns such as your sun and solar system, yet
we do not. It has been done. We can adjust the environs of your planet
Earth, yet we do not. It is not our design. We can and do monitor, supplement,
and enhance the flow of the human learning experience, as well as
other learning experiences of similar content throughout time-space. This
we perform continuously at all levels of human awareness so as to prepare
properly those entraining units of our prime energy for the entry and meld
into the totality that we are becoming. It is the essence of our growth to do
so. Such assistance and preparation is forthcoming from us only by request
from one or more levels of consciousness within the entraining unit. Thereafter,
a bonding is in effect through which many forms of communication
pass between us until the ultimate transformation occurs.
(We know who we are, and one I laughs and we all laugh at the name
this I had given us. We are an INSPEC, just one. There are many others
around us.)
(You are still incomplete. There are parts of you yet to be transformed,
including that visiting portion so filled with curiosity. Each of us is incomplete.
That is why we remain at this point, to reach back and gather additional
and remaining parts of us until we are complete.)
(Our curiosity desires the effect of completion.)
(We move into the creative return flow again, the waveform that brought
you here. When we do so, we leave this reality.)
(Can this be demonstrated?)
(It is not possible. It is not within our knowledge to do so. When you
have transformed and melded totally into your whole, you will comprehend.
That is why this point came into being. It is not possible to continue until
(Continue to what destination?)
(We believe it to be the source of the radiation, the creative emission and
return. Communication is closed with those who have continued. The desire
to continue occurs upon completion. It is more than your curiosity, as
you call it, and difficult to transmit in a form we can understand. There
have been attempts by those completed who are to continue, without success.)
(The ultimate home?)
(A good beginning concept. A design which unfolds as perception grows.
It is necessary now that you terminate your visit and return.)
(We will be with you, our curious I.) Return where! (Your physical environs)
. . . Where is that! . . . (In-human, your physical body) . . . Oh, yes, I
had forgotten … Do I have to go back? (Reach for us and we will be with
you in many ways. You have much to do. Go get them, tiger!)
(And a rote, as you call it, to play with.)

The return to the physical was near-instantaneous, my face and eyes
were wet. I sat up in the chair and remembered. I reached for the yellow
pad and pen, to get the rote into words immediately. I knew I had
changed. For the rest of my physical life, I would remember. But this
would never change:
For those who would die, there is life. For those
who would dream, there is reality. For those who
would hope, there is knowledge. For those who
would grow, there is eternity.’

Bob Monroe’s ‘Sleepers’ Class’ & Some ‘Hellish’ NDEs

Besides the nice, luminous, blissful accounts of what we call now ‘NDEs’, Humankind’s stories of a hellish afterlife world are also aplenty, but receive less attention. They too are a reality that is still being experienced and reported, though.

Among the few NDE researchers who have studied those definitely less attractive  and less reassuring descriptions of the Afterlife is P.M.H. Atwater, from Boise, Idaho.  images

She happened to meet a few NDErs long before she herself had her own three NDEs in 1977. At the time she met them the topic wasn’t yet the well-known, abundantly researched one that it has grown into, so she wasn’t even aware yet that such phenomena existed at all. But later on when she herself became an experiencer and then turned into a researcher on the topic, she mentioned those strange four cases in the early chapters of  both her first two books, ‘Coming Back to Life’ (1988) and ‘Beyond the Light’ (1994), so strong an impact those four practically identical stories had had on her. Here is how another researcher recently summed up the facts she related:

‘Within a span of only two days, according to P.M.H. Atwater, the same hellish NDE vision was independently witnessed by four strangers :
“A landscape of barren, rolling hills filled to overflowing with nude, zombie-like people standing elbow-to-elbow doing nothing but staring straight at [the NDErs].”
– NDEr and Researcher Phyllis Atwater.’

imagesWhen in 1984 I founded the Laboratory of Evolution and started its Specialized Library, ‘Coming Back to Life’ has been one of the very first books I selected and bought with the first official budget the Centre received to buy books.  Her story of these four cases impressed me, and stayed in my consciousness.

Robert Monroe’s second book, Far Journeys, was published in 1985, and soon was one of our further acquisitions.s

In 1994, Atwater’s second book was hardly published that it rejoined the first one on our Library’s shelves… but not before I had read it myself! When I found in it the same story again that had already impressed and puzzled me so much in her first book, it suddenly struck me that the description of their ‘hellish’ vision by the four independent persons reminded me very much of something described by Bob Monroe in his ‘Far Journeys’…

Here is his account of what happened to him one night while having one of his now regular, intended OBEs, in which he in his subtle body was able to go much further out than in the first period: he had realized that his rational mind was holding him back, so he had inwardly relinquished any control from his mind, and had entrusted himself instead fully to his Total Self, who would probably know better than just staying put in the vicinity of his body or his house. After that, with his Total Self in charge as the new Navigator guiding him, Bob had found himself way out into space, visiting other dimensions of Reality he had never known consciously before and meeting beings of all kinds, including humans either permanently out of their bodies or, just like himself, temporarily so.

In the extract from ‘Far Journeys’ which follows, Bob starts with establishing for his readers the meaning of the special vocabulary he finds himself forced to use for describing those encounters , as he is faced with the necessity of giving some ‘Out of the Body’ equivalent of our usual ‘In the Body’ feelings, physical reactions and words; the dialogues, spontaneously all telepathic in that new environment, are indicated between parentheses as no such words were actually spoken … Conversations rendered in that unusual way become quite an interesting form of new ‘language’, as you will see when Bob proceeds to describe the actual scene that unfolded (whenever something is underlined, it will be by me). Here begins Bob’s text:

Part II, Chapter 7 – Surveys and Schematics, p.77-78:  images

“The following is a deliberately free translation of nonverbal communication. To compound the rendering, most if not all represents the transposing of non-time-space events and ambience into replicas of conscious human physical experience. Thus a “humanizing” process is used extensively in the retelling—which may increase comprehension and simultaneously reduce accuracy. To abet the method, a few specific words are utilized in a different context to provide a connotation not so totally unlike their common definition. You can’t report “he said” or “he walked” or “she smiled”— because it wasn’t that way, the physical equipment wasn’t available.
Instead, here are parts of the “replica” vocabulary:

(Definition of some expressions used in this vocabulary)

Time-Space Illusion (TSI): An anomaly among the “standard” energy systems, which includes the entire physical universe
M Band: Part of energy spectrum commonly used for thought, not electromagnetic, electrical, magnetic, nucleonic, etc. M Band noise is caused by uncontrolled thought.
Ident: Mental name or “address,” i.e., energy pattern of item
Rote: Thought ball.  A “packet” of thought/mentation, total memory: Knowledge, Information, Experience, History
Run the rote: To recall portions of Rote after receipt of total
CLICK!: Instantaneous change in consciousness

(Description of emotions/inner states experienced and reactions expressed)
Percept: Insight Intuition Understand

Open: Receptive
Closed: Tune down (or out) external stimuli
Flickered: Uncertain
Blank: Don’t understand
Turn in: Consider, think over
Vibrate: Show emotion
Smooth: Get it together, in charge of self
Dulled: Lost interest
Lighted: Happy, idea, enthusiasm
Rolled: Amused, laughed
Curl: Organized energy, usually intelligent, local slang
Plied: The way things are, goes with the ter

A Homing Device loosely called “Ident” was utilized; this was like a Signal you could follow to the source of that Place or Being.

One of the earliest discoveries made in the new mode of Let-Somebody-Else-Do-the-Driving was that I had more than one nonphysical body.(…)

(Another post to come about that later…)

Another early result of my new navigator (my Total Self?) was remembering the going-to-class format. This came after my usual out-of-body separation process, releasing to such guidance, and without much movement finding myself among a crowd of gray forms. “Crowd” means so many they seemed to fade into the distance. All were focused in one direction, and none seemed to notice my arrival—except one, brighter, than the others. It approached me and stopped.
It opened—with words! In my consciousness.

(Glad you’re back, Bob. You’ve missed quite a few sessions.)
I flickered. (Well, uh, I’ve been busy.)
The form focused. (You’re different. You haven’t been on drugs or alcohol, have you?)
I opened wide. (I’ve lost a lot of rote, or I can’t pull it out. Where am I?)
The form rolled. (I guess you have! You’re back at Sleeper’s Class.)
I turned inward, and the percept came out bright and clear. Sleeper’s Classes—attended by countless humans during a portion of their deep sleep, during the sleeping out-of-body period. The only limitation was, that such sleep could not be distorted by chemicals, it had to be natural. How many times I had been here long before I knew it, before I knew anything about OOBEs and the like! I just didn’t remember, when I woke up, like everyone else.
If anything leaked through, it was attributed to a dream, inspiration, idea, or imagination. And I knew my instructor. (Hi, Bill.)
Bill rolled. (Took you long enough. Want me to plug you in?)
I flickered. (Well, I don’t know. You see, I think I am different. I’m not asleep.)
Bill blanked slightly, then lighted. (Oh, you’re one of those. How did that happen?)
I plied. (I don’t know. It just did.)
Bill turned inward, then opened. (That means you don’t belong here anymore. Too bad. You were one of my star pupils.)
I flickered. (You’re sure about that? About my not belonging?)
Bill smoothed. (I’ve had them before. It doesn’t work out. Your type gets impatient, bored. The biz kids, the OOB-ers, busy, busy, busy.)
I smoothed carefully. (How about plugging me in one last time? As long as I’m here.)
Bill dulled. (You probably know it already. Can’t change the program.)
I opened wide. (Try me.)
Bill flickered and tossed me a rote. I opened it easily…
CLICK (Сhange of wave/frequency – world)!
I folded the rote and tucked it in me, turned to Bill. (That’s pretty good. Seems familiar.)
Bill plied. (It ought to. You must have picked it up a couple hundred classes back.)
I opened. (Bill, if I don’t belong here, where do I go?)
(I don’t know. I don’t have the slightest percept on that.)
(There must be classes for, uh, mavericks like me.)
Bill plied. (I’m sure there are. I got to go make my rounds now. Drop in for a visit if you feel like it. I’m two rings out.)
I opened wide. (Sure, Bill.)
He turned and faded into the host of Gray Forms, and with nothing better to pull me, I rotated and dived back for the physical. Reentry was normal.”

So here is my own conclusion as a researcher: the four people met by P.M.H. Atwater all stumbled upon the ‘Sleepers’ Class’ they were never aware they too attended in their sleep at another time of their life!…

Now why did precisely those four persons happen to go there during their NDE remains a mystery for me, and I guess for all the other researchers as well; but at least the vision that scared each of them so much that they interpreted it as a vision of ‘Hell’, can now be understood, I would say, quite differently, in an actually not scary way at all.

Of course it is easy to see why it could be interpreted as scary: the surprise, the unexpected sight, the zombie-like appearance of all those people standing there, the fact that they were all staring in one direction, which in one of the four cases at least happened to seem to be the direction of the NDEr, the fact that they had no idea what that strange scene was and why they found themselves there, so many reasons to panic and interpret the scene as more threatening than it actually was. And as it obviously wasn’t Heaven, then automatically they thought it must be Hell – a Hell of some kind, even if it wasn’t quite the same kind of Hell that is usually described. With our mental activity that knows basically only the contraries, the extremes, nothing in between, as a result nothing even simply different than those extremes is imagined or envisaged.

They were all heart patients, all hospitalized in the same place, the St. Alphonsus Hospital in Boise, Idaho, and on the same floor. I wonder if anyone checked or could still check the records to see at what time of the day each one of those four patients had been operated upon (if all had been) and at what time each of them had had her/his NDE. Perhaps it was at night, and then when going out of their body their consciousness automatically went straight to the usual destination, the ‘Sleepers’ Class’?…

I would like very much to ask these questions particularly to P.M.H. Atwater. Perhaps I should send her this article of mine, and see what she says?…

Carl Jung’s NDE: Seeing the Earth From Space in 1944

Carl Jung had what we would now call a NDE, when he was already in his sixties and a well-known psychiatrist.

In it he found himself high in space, high enough to see the Earth almost in its entirety, in a way that only twenty years later it has also been seen by human astronauts, but which he saw nevertheless with great clarity and precision, as his description will show (what he calls ‘Ceylon’ is now called ‘Sri Lanka’). Nowadays, with all the other accounts of NDEs and other similar experiences that we have on record, it can be noticed that seeing the Earth from above in space is actually a rather common feature in this type of experience.

This was, from what Jung himself said, a turning-point in his understanding of what a human being is, and spirituality, which for Sigmund Freud was only imagination, openly became part of Jung’s very different viewpoint.

Here is his own account of what happened to him, in the fullest version I could find on the Internet (my thanks to Kevin Williams  at, who also added the pictures illustrating Jung’s text, and the very helpful notes). Most other versions were only much shorter paraphrased texts in which many revealing and important details were missing, as well as Jung’s own feelings as the experience happened.

It is quite interesting to see what kind of inner world Carl Jung was actually full of, overflowing with those references to biblical and mythological scenes and images that come alive for him during the blissful nights of his convalescence; and his NDE in itself is so obviously centered on India and Sri Lanka, that he had visited physically, certainly not as a coincidence; it is really as if Jung’s consciousness moves straight into the living images of the Afterlife environment belonging to that Tradition… If he had really died permanently, it is likely that he would have been attracted to that part of the Belief Systems Area as  mapped out by Bob Monroe’s repeated OBE visits to the Afterlife Domain in that Other Dimension of Reality we are not aware any more of in our normal limited state of perception, while in our physical body! Or perhaps he would have manifested there a new environment of his own, with a mixture of all those various inner influences that  had nurtured his psyche?… Perhaps that’s what he did when he really died…

Well, at least we have Carl Jung’s full account of his NDE:

‘The beginning of 1944 I broke my foot, and this misadventure was followed by a heart attack. In a state of unconsciousness, I experienced deliriums and visions which must have begun when I hung on the edge of death and was being given oxygen and camphor injections. The images were so tremendous that I myself concluded that I was close to death. My nurse afterward told me:

“It was as if you were surrounded by a bright glow.”

 That was a phenomenon she had sometimes observed in the dying, she added. I had reached the outermost limit, and do not know whether I was in a dream or an ecstasy. At any rate, extremely strange things began to happen to me.

It seemed to me that I was high up in space. Far below I saw the globe of the Earth, bathed in a gloriously blue light. I saw the deep blue sea and the continents.  Far below my feet lay Ceylon, and in the distance ahead of me the subcontinent of India. My field of vision did not include the whole Earth, but its global shape was plainly distinguishable and its outlines shone with a silvery gleam through that wonderful blue light. In many places the globe seemed colored, or spotted dark green like oxidized silver. Far away to the left lay a broad expanse – the reddish-yellow desert of Arabia; it was as though the silver of the Earth had there assumed a reddish-gold hue. Then came the Red Sea, and far, far back – as if in the upper left of a map – I could just make out a bit of the Mediterranean. My gaze was directed chiefly toward that. Everything else appeared indistinct. I could also see the snow-covered Himalayas, but in that direction it was foggy or cloudy. I did not look to the right at all. I knew that I was on the point of departing from the Earth.

Later I discovered how high in space one would have to be to have so extensive a view – approximately a thousand miles!  The sight of the Earth from this height was the most glorious thing I had ever seen.

After contemplating it for a while, I turned around. I had been standing with my back to the Indian Ocean, as it were, and my face to the north. Then it seemed to me that I made a turn to the south. Something new entered my field of vision. A short distance away I saw in space a tremendous dark block of stone, like a meteorite. It was about the size of my house, or even bigger. It was floating in space, and I myself was floating in space.

Temple of the Holy Tooth in CeylonI had seen similar stones on the coast of the Gulf of Bengal. They were blocks of tawny granite, and some of them had been hollowed out into temples. My stone was one such gigantic dark block. An entrance led into a small antechamber. To the right of the entrance, a black Hindu sat silently in lotus posture upon a stone bench. He wore a white gown, and I knew that he expected me. Two steps led up to this antechamber, and inside, on the left, was the gate to the temple. Innumerable tiny niches, each with a saucer-like concavity filled with coconut oil and small burning wicks, surrounded the door with a wreath of bright flames. I had once actually seen this when I visited the Temple of the Holy Tooth at Kandy in Ceylon; the gate had been framed by several rows of burning oil lamps of this sort.

As I approached the steps leading up to the entrance into the rock, a strange thing happened: I had the feeling that everything was being sloughed away; everything I aimed at or wished for or thought, the whole phantasmagoria of earthly existence, fell away or was stripped from me – an extremely painful process. Nevertheless something remained; it was as if I now carried along with me everything I had ever experienced or done, everything that had happened around me. I might also say: it was with me, and I was it. I consisted of all that, so to speak. I consisted of my own history and I felt with great certainty: this is what I am. I am this bundle of what has been and what has been accomplished.

This experience gave me a feeling of extreme poverty, but at the same time of great fullness. There was no longer anything I wanted or desired. I existed in an objective form; I was what I had been and lived. At first the sense of annihilation predominated, of having been stripped or pillaged; but suddenly that became of no consequence.

Everything seemed to be past; what remained was a “fait accompli,” without any reference back to what had been. There was no longer any regret that something had dropped away or been taken away. On the contrary: I had everything that I was, and that was everything.

Something else engaged my attention: as I approached the temple I had the certainty that I was about to enter an illuminated room and would meet there all those people to whom I belong in reality. There I would at last understand – this too was a certainty – what historical nexus I or my life fitted into. I would know what had been before me, why I had come into being, and where my life was flowing. My life as I lived it had often seemed to me like a story that has no beginning and end. I had the feeling that I was a historical fragment, an excerpt for which the preceding and succeeding text was missing. My life seemed to have been snipped out of a long chain of events, and many questions had remained unanswered. Why had it taken this course? Why had I brought these particular assumptions with me? What had I made of them? What will follow? I felt sure that I would receive an answer to all the questions as soon as I entered the rock temple. There I would meet the people who knew the answer to my question about what had been before and what would come after.

While I was thinking over these matters, something happened that caught my attention. From below, from the direction of Europe, an image floated up. It was my doctor, or rather, his likeness – framed by a golden chain or a golden laurel wreath. I knew at once:

“Aha, this is my doctor, of course, the one who has been treating me. But now he is coming in his primal form, as a “basileus of Kos.” [1]  In life he was an avatar of this basileus, the temporal embodiment of the primal form, which has existed from the beginning. Now he is appearing in that primal form.

[1] Basileus was the king (i.e. “basileus”) of Kos – a small Greek island on the Aegean Sea. The island of Kos was famous in antiquity as the site of the temple of Asklepios, and was the birthplace of Hippocrates.

Presumably I too was in my primal form, though this was something I did not observe but simply took for granted. As he stood before me, a mute exchange of thought took place between us. The doctor had been delegated by the Earth to deliver a message to me, to tell me that there was a protest against my going away. I had no right to leave the Earth and must return. The moment I heard that, the vision ceased.

I was profoundly disappointed, for now it all seemed to have been for nothing. The painful process of defoliation had been in vain, and I was not to be allowed to enter the temple, to join the people in whose company I belonged.

In reality, a good three weeks were still to pass before I could truly make up my mind to live again. I could not eat because all food repelled me. The view of city and mountains from my sickbed seemed to me like a painted curtain with black holes in it, or a tattered sheet of newspaper full of photographs that meant nothing. Disappointed, I thought:

“Now I must return to ‘the box system’ again.”

 For it seemed to me as if behind the horizon of the cosmos a three-dimensional world had been artificially built up, in which each person sat by himself in a little box. And now I should have to convince myself all over again that this was important! Life and the whole world struck me as a prison, and it bothered me beyond measure that I should again be finding all that quite in order. I had been so glad to shed it all, and now it had come about that I –  along with everyone else – would again be hung up in a box by a thread.

While I floated in space, I had been weightless, and there had been nothing tugging at me. And now all that was to be a thing of the past!

I felt violent resistance to my doctor because he had brought me back to life. At the same time, I was worried about him.

“His life is in danger, for heaven’s sake! He has appeared to me in his primal form! When anybody attains this form it means he is going to die, for already he belongs to the ‘greater company’!”

Suddenly the terrifying thought came to me that Dr. H. would have to die in my stead. I tried my best to talk to him about it, but he did not understand me. Then I became angry with him:

“Why does he always pretend he doesn’t know he is a basileus of Kos? And that he has already assumed his primal form? He wants to make me believe that he doesn’t know!”

That irritated me. My wife reproved me for being so unfriendly to him. She was right; but at the time I was angry with him for stubbornly refusing to speak of all that had passed between us in my vision:

“Damn it all, he ought to watch his step. He has no right to be so reckless! I want to tell him to take care of himself.”

I was firmly convinced that his life was in jeopardy. In actual fact I was his last patient. On April 4, 1944, I still remember the exact date I was allowed to sit up on the edge of my bed for the first time since the beginning of my illness, and on this same day Dr. H. took to his bed and did not leave it again. I heard that he was having intermittent attacks of fever. Soon afterward he died of septicemia. He was a good doctor; there was something of the
genius about him. Otherwise he would not have appeared to me as a prince of Kos.

During those weeks I lived in a strange rhythm. By day I was usually depressed. I felt weak and wretched, and scarcely dared to stir. Gloomily, I thought:

“Now I must go back to this drab world.”

Toward evening I would fall asleep, and my sleep would last until about midnight. Then I would come to myself and lie awake for about an hour, but in an utterly transformed state. It was as if I were in an ecstasy. I felt as though I were floating in space, as though I were safe in the womb of the universe in a tremendous void, but filled with the highest possible feeling of happiness.

“This is eternal bliss,” I thought. “This cannot be described; it is far too wonderful!”

Everything around me seemed enchanted. At this hour of the night the nurse brought me some food she had warmed for only then was I able to take any, and I ate with appetite. For a time it seemed to me that she was an old Jewish woman, much older than she actually was, and that she was preparing ritual kosher dishes for me. When I looked at her, she seemed to have a blue halo around her head. I myself was, so it seemed, in the Pardes Rimmonim, the garden of pomegranates, [2] and the wedding of Tiferet with Malchut was taking place. Or else I was Rabbi Simeon bar Yochai, whose wedding in the afterlife was being celebrated. It was the mystic marriage as it appears in the Cabbalistic tradition. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was. I could only think continually:

“Now this is the garden of pomegranates! Now this is the marriage of Malchuth with Tifereth!” [2]

[2] Pardes Rimmonim is the title of an old Cabbalistic tract by Moses Cordovero (sixteenth century). In Cabbalistic doctrine Malchuth and Tifereth are two of the ten spheres of divine manifestation in which God emerges from his hidden state. They represent the female and male principles within the Godhead.

I do not know exactly what part I played in it. At bottom it was I myself: I was the marriage. And my beatitude was that of a blissful wedding.

Gradually the garden of pomegranates faded away and changed. There followed the Marriage of the Lamb, in a Jerusalem festively bedecked. I cannot describe what it was like in detail. These were ineffable states of joy. Angels were present, and light. I myself was the “Marriage of the Lamb.”

That, too, vanished, and there came a new image, the last vision. I walked up a wide valley to the end, where a gentle chain of hills began. The valley ended in a classical amphitheater. It was magnificently situated in the green landscape. And there, in this theater, the hierosgamos was being celebrated. Men and women dancers came onstage, and upon a flower-decked couch All-father Zeus and Hera consummated the mystic marriage, as it is described in the Iliad.

All these experiences were glorious. Night after night I floated in a state of purest bliss:

“thronged round with images of all creation (from “Faust,” Part Two.)”

Gradually, the motifs mingled and paled. Usually the visions lasted for about an hour; then I would fall asleep again. By the time morning drew near, I would feel:

“Now gray morning is coming again; now comes the gray world with its boxes! What idiocy, what hideous nonsense! Those inner states were so fantastically beautiful that by comparison this world appeared downright ridiculous.”

As I approached closer to life again, they grew fainter, and scarcely three weeks after the first vision they ceased altogether.

It is impossible to convey the beauty and intensity of emotion during those visions. They were the most tremendous things I have ever experienced. And what a contrast the day was: I was tormented and on edge; everything irritated me; everything was too material, too crude and clumsy, terribly limited both spatially and spiritually. It was all an imprisonment, for reasons impossible to divine, and yet it had a kind of hypnotic power, a cogency, as if it were reality itself, for all that I had clearly perceived its emptiness. Although my belief in the world returned to me, I have never since entirely freed myself of the impression that:

…this life is a segment of existence which is enacted in a three-dimensional box-like universe especially set up for it.

There is something else I quite distinctly remember. At the beginning, when I was having the vision of the garden of pomegranates, I asked the nurse to forgive me if she were harmed:

“There was such sanctity in the room,” I said, “that it might be harmful to her.”

Of course she did not understand me. For me the presence of sanctity had a magical atmosphere; I feared it might be unendurable to others. I understood then why one speaks of the odor of sanctity, of the “sweet smell” of the Holy Ghost. This was it. There was a pneuma of inexpressible sanctity in the room, whose manifestation was the mysterium coniunctionis.

I would never have imagined that any such experience was possible. It was not a product of imagination. The visions and experiences were utterly real; there was nothing subjective about them; they all had a quality of absolute objectivity.

We shy away from the word “eternal,” but I can describe the experience only as the ecstasy of a non-temporal state in which present, past, and future are one. Everything that happens in time had been brought together into a concrete whole. Nothing was distributed over time, nothing could be measured by temporal concepts. The experience might best be defined as a state of feeling, but one which cannot be produced by imagination. How can I imagine that I exist simultaneously the day before yesterday, today, and the day after tomorrow? There would be things which would not yet have begun, other things which would be indubitably present, and others again which would already be finished and yet all this would be one. The only thing that feeling could grasp would be a sum, an iridescent whole, containing all at once expectation of a beginning, surprise at what is now happening, and satisfaction or disappointment with the result of what has happened. One is interwoven into an indescribable whole and yet observes it with complete objectivity.

I experienced this objectivity once again later on. That was after the death of my wife. I saw her in a dream which was like a vision. She stood at some distance from me, looking at me squarely. She was in her prime, perhaps about thirty, and wearing the dress which had been made for her many years before by my cousin the medium. It was perhaps the most beautiful thing she had ever worn. Her expression was neither joyful nor sad, but, rather, objectively wise and understanding, without the slightest emotional reaction, as though she were beyond the mist of affects. I knew that it was not she, but a portrait she had made or commissioned for me. It contained the beginning of our relationship, the events of fifty-three years of marriage, and the end of her life also. Face to face with such wholeness one remains speechless, for it can scarcely be comprehended.

The objectivity which I experienced in this dream and in the visions is part of a completed individuation. It signifies detachment from valuations and from what we call emotional ties. In general, emotional ties are very important to human beings. But they still contain projections, and it is essential to withdraw these projections in order to attain to oneself and to objectivity. Emotional relationships are relationships of desire, tainted by coercion and constraint; something is expected from the other person, and that makes him and ourselves unfree. Objective cognition lies hidden behind the attraction of the emotional relationship; it seems to be the central secret. Only through objective cognition is the real coniunctio possible.

After the illness a fruitful period of work began for me. A good many of my principal works were written only then. The insight I had had, or the vision of the end of all things, gave me the courage to undertake new formulations. I no longer attempted to put across my own opinion, but surrendered myself to the current of my thoughts. Thus one problem after the other revealed itself to me and took shape.

Something else, too, came to me from my illness. I might formulate it as an affirmation of things as they are: an unconditional “yes” to that which is, without subjective protests acceptance of the conditions of existence as I see them and understand them, acceptance of my own nature, as I happen to be. At the beginning of the illness I had the feeling that there was something wrong with my attitude, and that I was to some extent responsible for the mishap. But when one follows the path of individuation, when one lives one’s own life, one must take mistakes into the bargain; life would not be complete without them. There is no guarantee not for a single moment that we will not fall into error or stumble into deadly peril. We may think there is a sure road. But that would be the road of death. Then nothing happens any longer at any rate, not the right things. Anyone who takes the sure road is as good as dead.

It was only after the illness that I understood how important it is to affirm one’s own destiny. In this way we forge an ego that does not break down when incomprehensible things happen; an ego that endures, that endures the truth, and that is capable of coping with the world and with fate. Then, to experience defeat is also to experience victory. Nothing is disturbed neither inwardly nor outwardly, for one’s own continuity has withstood the current of life and of time. But that can come to pass only when one does not meddle inquisitively with the workings of fate.

I have also realized that one must accept the thoughts that go on within oneself of their own accord as part of one’s reality. The categories of true and false are, of course, always present; but because they are not binding they take second place. The presence of thoughts is more important than our subjective judgment of them. But neither must these judgments be suppressed, for they also are existent thoughts which are part of our wholeness.’

Jung had again another ‘dream’ after his illness, which for me has obviously to do with the unfulfilled ending of his NDE:

‘I came to a small wayside chapel. The door was ajar, and I went in. To my surprise there was no image of the Virgin on the altar, and no crucifix either, but only a wonderful flower arrangement. But then I saw that on the floor in front of the altar, facing me, sat a yogi- in lotus posture, in deep meditation. When I looked at him more closely, I realized that he had my face. I started in profound fright, and awoke with the thought:’Aha, so he is the one who is meditating me. He has a dream and I am it.’ (323) (Carl Jung, ‘Memories, Dreams and Reflections,’ pp.290-2)

Later on, Jung had those words which show what an ineffable, but unforgettable and essential experience all this has been for him, changing for ever his life and his all outlook on Life:

“What happens after death is so unspeakably glorious that our imagination and feelings do not suffice to form even an approximate conception of it.” — Carl Jung (Quoted in Vincent Brome: Jung: Man and Myth, Scientific Book Club, 1979, p277.)

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