Et Nous Re-voilà Déjà au Darshan du 24 Novembre… avec Sri Krishna!

Je profite de ce que cet écrit va être en français (vous verrez pourquoi) pour informer toutes mes visiteuses et tous mes visiteurs qui préfèrent le français, qu’à propos du 17 et surtout 18 novembre 1973, jour de mon Double Darshan de la Mère Divine, dont l’anniversaire vient de passer, j’ai écrit il y a deux ans un texte – un poème – pour une fois en français, qui leur donnera au moins une idée de ce qui s’est produit ce jour-là de monumental pour moi (en deux fois coup sur coup), dont les incroyables résultats merveilleusement bénéfiques continuent toujours à se développer dans ma vie d’évolution de plus en plus consciente à tous les niveaux de mon être. Le lien avec ce poème en français pour Mère:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/pour-mere-en-ce-17-novembre-revenu/

Mais aujourd’hui il s’agit du 24 novembre, Darshan concernant Sri Aurobindo, et célèbrant le jour où Sri Krishna a établi sa Présence en lui de manière permanente,  y compris sur le plan physique, afin de participer activement de cette manière au pas évolutif nouveau qui se préparait.

C’était en 1926. En ce même jour, à la suite de cet évènement intérieur décisif marquant la collaboration volontaire et définitive de cette divinité majeure qui, comme tous les autres dieux et déesses, appartenait à la dimension ultime du Mental appelée “Surmental” par Sri Aurobindo, celui-ci décida à la fois, d’une part, de créer enfin pour les disciples déjà nombreux autour d’eux un Ashram, sous la direction de celle qu’il appelait “La Mère ” parce qu’il la savait être l’incarnation voulue de la Mère Divine, et d’autre part, de lui-même se retirer désormais dans sa chambre afin de se consacrer entièrement à la partie du travail intérieur colossal nécessaire pour accélérer l’activation du pas évolutif suivant sur la Terre: y amener une jonction directe avec la dimension encore supérieure au Surmental, qu’il appelait le “Supramental”, ce qui signifiait “au delà du Mental”.

Car là résidait, Sri Aurobindo et Mère le savaient par expérience, la Conscience-Force seule suffisamment puissante pour faire passer la Terre – et sa Matière elle-même – à l’échelon suivant de l’Evolution dont elle continue d’être le théâtre. Ainsi deviendrait  un jour réalité sur la Terre la Vision du Futur que Sri Aurobindo avait décrite dès 1914 dans son livre au titre éloquent:”La Vie Divine”.

Voilà ce que cette date du 24 novembre commémore, qui a donc été une étape très importante vers la réalisation de cette Vision, le premier pas extérieur en ayant été la création de l’Ashram pour les premiers humains tentés par cette grande aventure évolutive consciente, à la suite de Sri Aurobindo et Mère. .

Mais à ce contenu “officiel” du Darshan du 24 novembre il se trouve que s’ajoute pour moi personnellement un sens particulier, né de ma propre relation intérieure avec ce même Sri Krishna. Il est cet Ananda primordial du Suprême en tant que Satchitananda, aspect d’Ananda qui s’est manifesté au niveau surmental par ce dieu Sri Krishna, lequel de plus s’est incarné en Inde, à l’époque  ancienne dont parle le  “Mahabharata”: en tant que le prince Krishna du peuple Yadava, ami des cinq princes Pandavas et en particulier d’Arjuna, pour qui à l’orée de la Bataille de Kurukshetra il prononce la Bhagavad Guita et révéle son Identité Suprême, avant de conduire le chariot de son ami vers une Victoire finale longuement et chèrement acquise.

Quel rapport avec moi?… Eh bien, une expérience très émouvante aux environs de Delhi il y a une vingtaine d’années, ainsi que les recherches historiques que j’ai faites par la suite, ont confirmé que ces lieux précis avaient été à une période reculée des lieux que Krishna avait bel et bien fréquentés… et apparemment mon être intérieur aussi, sous une autre forme et un autre nom que j’ignore, mais en tant que femme semble-t-il, sans pour autant avoir été l’une des épouses de Krishna ni l’une des “gopis”, les jolies gardiennes de vaches qui l’entouraient de leur amour pendant sa jeunesse soigneusement cachée parmi les paysans d’un village de campagne. Même si c’était dans le milieu plus urbain où il a ouvertement vécu par la suite que je l’ai rencontré, comment aurais-je pu ne pas l’aimer moi aussi?!

En fait, bien avant cette expérience ultérieure près de Delhi qui m’a reconnectée avec ce passé lointain, mon âme, en 1975 et à Auroville même, avait déjà reconnu son cher Krishna lorsqu’Il m’avait fait la surprise, un matin au réveil, Lui le Divin espiègle, de venir à moi intérieurement, sachant très bien que ce que j’attendais, c’était à nouveau le Divin en tant que Mère Divine, comme dans mon expérience précédente de quelques semaines auparavant!!! Mais cet Amour dont encore couchée je se sentais enveloppée, n’était plus de l’Amour Maternel, fût-il divin; et ces yeux  pleins de charme que je sentais me regarder avec tendresse mêlée d’adorable malice, cet irrésistible sourire, cette indicible séduction qui émanait de tout ce visage comme entr’aperçu dans l’espace au-dessus de moi, tout cela fit que soudain mes lèvres s’entr’ouvrirent pour s’écrier dans un souffle:

“Krishna!…”

En même temps me revint au coeur cette chanson d’autrefois, si belle, chantée par Edith Piaf , qui s’appelait “La Vie en rose”, et dont les paroles reflétaient sans le savoir exactement la description du Visage Divin lui-même, à l’irrésistible Beauté, qui état en train de se révéler ainsi à moi:

“Des Yeux qui font baisser les miens,

Un Rire qui se perd sur sa Bouche,

Voilà le portrait sans retouche

De Celui auquel j’appartiens…

Quand Il me prend dans ses Bras,

Qu’Il me parle tout bas,

Je vois la Vie en rose…”

Les majuscules sont de moi, mais Ce qui est décrit est si éternel et si parfaitement exprimé là dans toute son absolue simplicité (et sur une mélodie parfaite elle aussi, comme l’est tout autant l’interprétation) qu’il n’est pas étonnant que cette chanson pourtant si “française” soit devenue et restée si universellement appréciée, partout dans le monde.

Et c’est ainsi, sur l’écho tellement inattendu de cette chanson d’Edith Piaf traduisant si bien en ses mots français ce que mon âme vivait dans son absolue Réalité, que commença une incroyable période de deux mois, où toute ma vie extérieure reflua vers l’intérieur pour vivre toujours plus intensément cette indicible relation d’Amour, à nouveau avec le Divin, certes, mais cette fois, expérience encore plus sublime si cela est possible, en tant que l’Amant Divin de mon âme…

Cette période merveilleuse ne prit fin, me dit-Il Lui-même, que pour me permettre de la retrouver un jour, plus tard, lorsque j’aurais appris à garder cet étroit contact avec Lui quelles que soient mes activités extérieures.  Après plus de quarante ans de ce qui fut d’abord un très douloureux arrachement, puis tout un interminable entraînement à sentir sa Présence peu à peu reconquise en toutes circonstances, je commence à croire le moment enfin proche où nous serons à nouveau constamment réunis dans ce divin, éternel Délice d’Être qu’est… Krishna.

images

From credible india blog spot

J’espère qu’il est maintenant évident pourquoi ce partage se devait d’être d’abord écrit en français, et pour ceux de mes visiteurs et visiteuses qui sont de culture française: il a été si frappant pour moi que l’un des simples joyaux de notre culture se  retrouve ainsi associé à une si profonde expérience d’âme, que je tiens à rendre ainsi ce petit tribut à cette culture…

 

The larger, and larger, and larger LOE… and my new Page as a small, individual LOE

In my Research work for the ‘Laboratory of Evolution’ in Auroville,  and so also on this Research Blog, I have always tried to include not only a significant sampling of my own experiences in my life of conscious evolution, but also a sampling of the experiences other Aurovilians too are living, in this Auroville as a whole that Mother called a ‘living laboratory’; and even further,  I have tried to bring to the forefront of our collective attention whatever of evolutive significance is happening elsewhere as well, that shows to which constantly increasing extent this planet Earth in its entirety is now becoming a still larger Laboratory of Evolution.

Experiences from other individual Aurovilians I hope to be able to start posting soon, that my visitors will understand and appreciate better if they gained themselves a better overall picture of the Integral Yoga by now, after having read here already a very diverse sampling of my own main experiences. One can find them haphazardly here and there in many various posts, but they have been also recently presented more conveniently in chronological order inside a special post, converted now into a Page to this effect placed from now on among my other Pages at the top of my Blog: its title is

‘Chronology of my Spiritual Experiences’, and it is placed under the overall  heading ‘Me & Auroville’.

From ‘Amazing Grace’ to the Cherokees

Once I discovered, a few days ago, that the very popular song ‘Amazing Grace’ had the same remarkable effect on me as Franz Schubert’s ‘Ave Maria’ (see my previous post, https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2016/03/06/working-while-still-at-rest-all-the-time/), I went on a veritable spree for this ‘Amazing Grace’ song, listening to every single version of it that I could find on YouTube – and there are many!…

It seemed I was going to end up, like for the ‘Ave Maria’, with having to choose which version I liked best… when suddenly I noticed, further down the YouTube video list, a version in… Cherokee!!!

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Instantly, out of mere curiosity, I clicked on that one.

Oh my… I was in for a real shock of beauty.

The video that unfolded before my eyes was magnificent, not only by the song itself, translated indeed into the raw, so fascinating sounds of the Cherokee language, but also by the gorgeous visuals, all drawn from that culture too and making the song newly alive and meaningful with the poignancy of the Native-American tribes’ near disappearance in what became today’s United States of (North) America.

Not that there are any laments being sung or pitiful sights being shown. On the contrary,  in that video as well as another one yet of ‘Amazing Grace’ in Cherokee that was also there, what was striking to me was the feeling of indomitable courage and self-esteem, and the superb images of all that deeply symbolizes the age-old wisdom and pride of those Amerindian cultures, evoked by one video in a more traditional way, and by the other one in a slightly more Westernized style, although both felt remarkably dignified and faithful to their origins.

Well, just that morning on Facebook I had sent my Birthday Wishes to a young woman who had briefly been a neighbor when I still lived on the Auroville beach in Repos; she happened to be of Native-American descent, and proud of it. To meet her had at once reawakened in myself the far roots I have also in those cultures from at least one other lifetime I am aware of. On Facebook, the same thing happened all over again, just by seeing her name, so evocative of that whole culture. What a meaningful ‘coincidence’ that on the evening of the very same day, here I was, unexpectedly plunged through those Cherokee videos into what felt like a torrent, a cataract of that specific energy again!…

Without further ado, my violently beating heart joined into the beating of the drums, and I rejoiced at the beauty of the wolves howling in the silent night under the bright, serene, mysterious face of the full moon. I joined in the joyful horse-riding, galloping through the wilderness… and that, as I am writing it, brings back to my consciousness the similar exhilaration lived in the vast steppes of Siberia long, long ago, in that now unknown culture whose tattooed mummies have astonished the world when unearthed a few decades back…  My interest in that was sparked here in Auroville when I read the book by Olga Kharitidi, ‘Entering the Circle’, and her own far memories resonated so strongly in my being then… (see two of the earliest posts I wrote for this blog, in 2011: https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/my-first-contact-with-siberian-shamanism/, and https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/entering-the-circle-by-olga-kharitidi/).

What a great medley of origins, religions, cultures, each of us human beings actually is… When will the so obscure need for reciprocal revenge stop perpetuating between all of us conflicts and wars that have no true meaning in view of the underlying Unity and complete inter-connectedness that not only spiritual seers from all ages have always spoken of, but scientists too are now discovering at the heart of everything, even what seems to be the solid matter of physicality, including in our own bodies?!…

This is one of the promises the New Step of Evolution on Earth is holding for us. Let’s have just a little more patience, friends, and let’s call ceaselessly for it: Peace, Peace will come, at last to stay, for a more harmonious Humanity on this planet Earth, where the Cherokees, along with all other cultures, will have recovered their true place …  Oh, really, what an Amazing Grace it will be for all of us!

As if to echo my thoughts, I just now find another video, which will be the perfect ending for this new post of mine:

 

 

“MUOB”, ou ma NDE/EMI a Auroville, Avril 1975

Traduction de l’article originel en anglais: “MUOB”, or my NDE in Auroville, April 1975

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2014/07/19/my-nde-in-auroville-april-1975/

————————————————–

A peine quelques annees apres mon arrivee a Auroville, je devins impatiente de la lenteur de notre progres collectif. Parmi les communautes auroviliennes existantes, je ne pouvais en trouver aucune ou l’intensite, le feu interieur pour l’evolution consciente et le Yoga Integral me semblaient etre encore vraiment vivants.

Seule une nouvelle communaute, demarree recemment sur les hauteurs entre deux canyons par un austere et rayonnant jeune homme venu de l’Ashram, avait encore de l’attrait pour moi, car en lui et dans ce nouvel endroit la flamme interieure me semblait etre encore bien allumee.

Il m’autorisa a me joindre aux quelques personnes elues qui vivaient deja autour de lui.

J’etais tres heureuse, et pendant environ six mois tout alla bien.

Mais a un certain point il me prit a l’ecart et me dit en prive, de maniere completement inattendue, que certaines tendances en moi n’etaient pas bonnes pour l’endroit et il allait falloir que je m’en aille .

Frappee de surprise et d’horreur, je le suppliai de me donner au moins quelque temps, ne serait-ce qu’un mois; dans l’espace de ce mois j’etais sure de pouvoir deraciner en moi quoi que ce soit de problematique qu’il ait a l’esprit comme rendant ma presence indesirable.

Il accepta de me donner ce mois de plus, apres lequel nous nous rencontrerions a nouveau, dans sa hutte, pour qu’il m’informe de sa decision finale.

Vous pouvez imaginer comment j’ai passe cet unique mois que j’avais pour me changer de maniere suffisamment convaincante pour gagner son approbation et etre autorisee a rester, ce qui etait expremement important pour moi: jour et nuit je faisais l’offrande fervente de mon etre et de quelque defaut que je puisse avoir au Divin , le Divin tel que j’etais deja entree en contact avec Lui/Elle dans cette gigantesque experience du 18 Novembre 1973: la Mere Divine. (Voir l’article precedent: https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2015/11/29/a-nouveau-le-17-novembre-est-passe/)

Mais dans cet enorme Darshan d’Elle-meme que j’avais recu ce jour-la, le contact interieur avec Elle, l’intimite de sa Presence guidante avaient manque. En l’absence de cette direction interieure en direct d’Elle en moi-meme, j’avais fait une sorte de pacte secret avec Elle: je considererais ce jeune homme comme Sa voix pour moi, et quoi que ce soit qu’il me dirait je considererais que c’etait Elle-meme qui me le disait – certainement pas une solution ideale, mais a l’epoque je n’en voyais pas d’autre, alors c’etait la meilleure facon que je pouvais inventer pour recevoir, au moins indirectement, la Direction de Mere.

Lorsque le mois finalement toucha a sa fin, chcune de ses minutes ayant ete passees en ardente priere que je puisse rester, j’allai a la hutte de ce jeune homme et m’assis en face de lui en silence, attendant son verdict. Tous les deux nous etions dans cette position en lotus (en tailleur…) qui est si pratique dans ces huttes  pour s’asseoir sur un fin coussin directement sur le plancher, dans ce cas-la le plancher superieur de la hutte, a l’etage. Mon coeur battait violemment dans ma poitrine pendant qu j’attendais qu’il parle.

Apres une courte concentration muette, il me regarda droit dans les yeux et me dit, avec grande gentillesse mais aussi la fermete d’une decision finale:

“Je suis desole, il faut vraiment que vous partiez.”

Aucune reponse ne sortit de moi, car ses mots m’avaient frappee comme un couteau se fichant dans mon coeur. La douleur saisit mon coeur dans son feroce etau, douleur si aigue que je ne pouvais meme pas crier.

Je m’evanouis – tout devint soudain noir -, mes yeux se fermant par eux-memes pendant que mon corps assis devenait rigide  dans un spasme comme s’il etait gele.

Dans le noir interieur m’environnant maintenant de partout, la douleur etait la seule chose me rappelant que j’avais encore un corps; mais interieurement je pouvais sentir l’energie de vie refluer de tous mes membres, de mon organisme tout entier, refluant de plus en plus vite, vers mon coeur, le flot de l’energie de vie etant attire la irresistiblement, exactement comme vers un trou noir qui l’aspirait completement en dedans de lui: un trou noir de douleur atroce.

Ma seule pensee, emergeant de l’intense sentiment de desespoir qui me submergeait, etait ceci:

” Alors la Mere Divine m’a rejetee. Elle m’a dit “Non”. Ce lieu etait le dernier, le seul ou je sentais que je recevrais de l’aide pour progresser et m’ameliorer. Maintenant je n’ai plus nulle part d’autre ou aller. Je suis perdue. Ma vie n’a plus aucun sens. Je peux aussi bien mourir.”

Et dans l’etrange vacuite mentale de ce moment, un souvenir encore plus etrange soudain me traversa l’esprit…

De longues annees auparavant, encore enfant, j’avais lu une devinette, une blague amusante dans  “Selection du Reader’s Digest”:

”Le son que fait une explosion est BOUM. Quel est le son que fait une implosion?”

La reponse etait: “MUOB”.

J’avais aime ce son amusant, il m’avait fait rire, car il exprimait si bien ce qu’une implosion est en effet…

Et maintenant, dans ce moment que je ressentais tout a fait comme celui de ma mort imminente par implosion, voila que c’etait la seule pensee qui brievement me revenait a l’esprit, apres avoir ete totalement oubliee pendant des decennies:

“Eh bien voila, maintenant je suis en train de faire MUOB…”

Mon desespoir etait si total que ca m’etait egal d’etre en train de mourir. Je regardais simplement tout cela se passer, avec une indifference muette oppressante de douleur.

Ce qui subsistait de mon etre, je l’eprouvais de plus en plus comme une intensite de douleur et de desespoir comprimee a l’infini. Je devenais de plus en plus une sorte de pierre, une pierre noire, de plus en plus dure, de plus en plus minuscule, la douleur devenant de plus en plus intolerable a mesure que j’approchais du point ou je serais entierement avalee par le trou noir et disparaitrais dans le neant.

Au bord meme de l’annihilation, quelque chose en moi surgit soudain, aussi tenu que cela ait ete, quelque chose qui ne pouvait accepter. Accepter un tel sort, accepter que la Mere Divine m’avait rejetee, c’etait trop injuste, trop cruel:

“Mais Elle est ma Mere Eternelle! Elle sait tout de moi. Elle sait ma sincerite, Elle sait combien, de toutes mes forces, j’ai essaye!… Comment pourrait-Elle me rejeter? Ce n’est pas possible, Elle ne peut pas m’abandonner !”

Et dans un ultime elan d’amour pour Elle, et de confiance en son Amour, un appel au secours angoisse, un hurlement interieur jaillit vers Elle a travers le Noir Neant de Mort en train de m’engouffrer:

“MERE!…”

Instantanement je me retrouvai dans un immense, et pourtant intime royaume de merveilleuse Lumiere doree constituant tout, le paysage si beau, les etres memes qui etaient la – mais parmi eux moi, sous la forme d’une mignonne petite fille d’environ six ans, dans une jolie petite robe courte a volants, je n’avais d’yeux que pour Elle, ma Divine Maman, qui etait assise la a quelque distance, sur une sorte de trone fait de la meme merveilleuse Lumiere, et son Etre lui aussi rayonnait doucement de cette Lumiere, tandis qu’Elle ouvrait les bras vers moi, souriant d’un sourire si doux que je m’elancai en courant vers Elle, les bras avidement tendus, et je me jetai sur ses genoux en confiance totale et joyeux abandon. J’etais chez moi enfin, avec Elle.

Du moment eternel qui suivit, je me rappelle seulement l’Unite beatifique entre nous, et comment Elle me reconforta, riant doucement, me disant que bien sur Elle ne m’avait jamais rejetee du tout, et ne le ferait jamais, c’etait une impossibilite, mais a ce stade-la de mon existence humaine toute cette douleur avait ete necessaire pour que ma conscience atteigne finalement l’intensite de besoin voulue pour me faire passer dans cette autre Dimension et venir dans ce Royaume de Douceur d’Amour lumineuse, qui penetrait tout, ce Royaume en lequel nos ames ont leur Origine, et qui est notre chez nous veritable entre nos temps de vie sur Terre ou ailleurs, lorsque nous faisons l’experience d’etre un Humain dans un corps physique humain.

Je me laissai fondre en Elle, en son Amour, j’etais sienne pour une heureuse eternite dans laquelle aucun sens de temps qui passe n’existait du tout.

Et soudain ma conscience se retrouva de nouveau dans cette hutte, a l’interieur de mon corps toujours assis la, rigidement immobile en face du jeune homme egalement toujours assis la. J’etais dans un etat de parfait bonheur et tranquillite.

Il me regardait avec stupeur et une sorte d’effroi, completement abasourdi, apres avoir probablement vu les extremes changements qui avaient du se produire sur mon visage, exprimant  les extremes changements d’etat interieur dont j’avais eu l’experience. Je ressentis de la compassion pour lui, qui avait ete le temoin de tout cela sans savoir ce qui se passait en moi. Je ressentis de la gratitude aussi, pour le role qu’il avait joue sans s’en douter dans ce merveilleux changement de dimension dont j’avais eu l’experience: en me poussant jusqu’aux extremes limites du desespoir et de la mort, il avait ete l’instrument utilise par la Mere Divine pour obtenir ce resultat. Je lui souris avec douceur et dis:

“Donc, il faut que je m’en aille?… Bon. Pas de probleme. Je peux aller n’inporte ou, cela n’a pas d’importance. Y a-t-il un autre endroit d’Auroville que vous suggereriez?”

En effet, l’endroit n’etait plus important, ni meme lui, le jeune homme, maintenant que j’avais mon contact interieur avec ma chere Mere etabli en toute securite a l’interieur de moi, accessible directement pour m’y referer.

Pendant un moment il ne put en croire ses oreilles. C’etait une personne transformee qu’il regardait et ecoutait. Le changement avait ete si abrupt qu’il en etait tout deconcerte. Finalement il parvint a me dire effectivement le nom d’une autre communaute ou l’on avait besoin de quelqu’un pour prendre soin de l’endroit, la personne precedente etant recemment partie.

Et je suis donc allee la, avec mon beau et doux secret cache en moi… le secret de cette presque mort par crise cardiaque, et de ma visite au bienheureux chez nous dans la Realite derriere celle-ci…

 

The Variety of Spiritual Experiences Lived by the Eternal Me in this Lifetime (put in chronological order)

Why such a fun use of William James’ so well-known (and deservedly so) title for his major book?

Well, I am actually being inspired by him through that title of his, and by the example from some other individuals for presenting my experiences in chronological order:

During the full first week of October I have found myself immersed in a sea of small children’s or adults’ verified accounts of past lives, followed at once by an ocean of great OBEs from various contemporary persons (this time, other than my beloved Bob Monroe of TMI fame), all discovered just one after the other in an amazing uninterrupted flow that wonderfully fed my inner being all day long, day after day, for that whole week.

Always the same stupendous conclusion reached by those who had described their experiences in the various books and/or videos presented on internet, all of which I kept stumbling upon and enjoying like the many dishes of a great buffet. That so important conclusion, summarized here in my own words, was:

We aren’t really just human beings; we are actually eternal spirits, spiritual beings only temporarily using a human physical body to experience a new lifetime on Earth and as soon as we possibly can, become aware again of this central Fact: the One Spirit that we all really are…

Basking in those big waves of Truth being realized and revealed by so many of us in our present otherwise so difficult times of Change, I sat back and began remembering some of my own inner experiences, starting with the one when I was just a newborn… It suddenly dawned on me that my visitors here might like to have it all in chronological order too, like the experiences told by those other people: that might make more sense than having them only the way they are now, that is, simply dispersed here or there with no order at all, just as I happened to post them among the many other evolution-related topics I have been posting about since I began this blog in 2011.

So here is a special post where one will be able to find, finally in the correct chronological order, the links to all the relevant dispersed posts describing one spiritual experience or the other lived in my current lifetime… and sometimes linked with another lifetime! In this increasingly collective awakening that we human beings are presently experiencing, it feels more and more normal and useful to share the growing inner knowledge we are acquiring through our direct individual experiences. It seems to be a good way to help build our Human Unity, through our very diversity…

Once put up first with at least a few of the links to whatever relevant posts are already there, this special post will probably, later, be turned into a permanent Page so that I can update it whenever there is need to add to it more of those links to old posts – or also links to new ones, every time relevant new posts may come up as my blog continues to unfold.

I’m quite glad about this idea, so I’m realizing it right now…  To read all that follows, including every post listed, is obviously going to take quite some time, so allow me to suggest that you take it in not in just one, but perhaps rather in several sittings… but of course it’s up to you. Here we go !…

***************************************

  • Eternal Souls | FaithbookNZ

I’ll begin with of course first of all the link to that very first memory,  quite revealing, of when I was a mere newborn baby, or something like that:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/my-very-first-memory/

I grew up to be a very God-attracted child, perceiving spontaneously and joyfully God’s presence in my soul and that of others, and in all the lovely little or big things of nature too: tiny bugs, butterflies, the Sun even, to which at seven I wrote an Hymn…  I loved also to go to Mass on Sundays with my parents and elder sister, loving especially the songs, when they were sung with real fervor; we lived normally in West Africa, the parts that were then French colonies, but whenever my father got some long vacation from his work there in the high levels of the French Administration, we would go back to France for several months, going of course to Mass also there, wherever we would happen to be:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/the-french-basques/

Next came, in my early teen years, a few very special moments which only much later I realized had been actually spontaneous but massive spiritual experiences:

One I related towards the end of the following post, you will see why:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/tonight-full-moon-on-shivas-sacred-hill/

And another one again, during the same period, still a young teenager in Africa:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/the-secret-sprirituality-of-every-moment/

Soon after that period, the colonial era started to reach its end all over the world; my parents stayed in Africa, now a bit unsafe, for a while more with their still very young son, but we, the two elder sisters, remained in Paris under the care of our paternal grandmother for two years, until our parents and little brother came back too. I am not sure if I have narrated yet in any post the intense, deep inner joys I secretly kept having everyday during those two years lived at my grandmother’s place, visiting on my own the nearby parish church at a time it was always empty. If I see that this is missing, I’ll definitely write about it and add the link here some time soon…

When my parents and little brother came, except for my grandmother we all moved out to a very charming area outside of Paris, the modern buildings part of which (where we lived, in a beautiful park) surrounded the medieval village still existing on top of the central hill; the small church there, very ancient, had an extraordinary atmosphere to it, I loved to be there, among the Sunday Mass crowd or on my own any other time. Soon a baby sister completed our family; within a few years I could share with the two kids the joy and emotion of standing in front of the church’s beautifully made creches during every Christmas time…

Paris was only a half hour away by train, to attend secondary school still, or to accompany sometimes my father in his visits to various holy places there, for example sites of apparitions of the Virgin Mary. We didn’t communicate much otherwise, but at least in those visits we could share our silent inner feelings towards the Divine!

Becoming a young adult, I wanted to be a nun in a contemplative Order like the Carmelites; but after a while the perspective of having a Mother Superior rule my inner relationship to God made me think twice… and in the meantime, as a La Sorbonne University student, and then finally a young teacher, I was out of the protected family nest. I did discover the deep beauty of the American Negro-Spirituals and Gospels from a La Sorbonne fellow student (oh, how much I loved, and still love, ‘In the Upper Room’, by Mahalia Jackson…) but that was about all I found comforting at that time: confronted suddenly with all the harsh realities of the world we humans had built for ourselves, I was basically horrified. I couldn’t figure out how to reconcile such a monstrous, insane world situation with the God I knew from direct personal experience to be everywhere and in everybody just as in myself. Although I had no problems in my personal life, my intensifying perplexity and revolt about the total nonsense Life seemed to be, led me as a young teacher to the point of demanding answers from God to a few pointed questions I had – or I would end my life. To that ultimatum God responded beautifully, and within a mere few months ‘The Life Divine’, by Sri Aurobindo, was brought to me, giving me in a flash of instantaneous illumination the full meaning and explanation that at once made Life worthwhile again. All posts relevant to that period will be added here if I find any… or I’ll have to write some!

After that huge, decisive turning-point, I found out about Auroville and although I was extremely fearful and reluctant to go live, of all places, in mysterious India (no one was going there at that time), my inner being won and dragged all the other parts of me, kicking and screaming, all the way here in August 1972… just in time, without knowing it, to have on the 15th, which happened to be Sri Aurobindo’s Birth Centenary, my very first ‘Darshan’, as I explain in the last part of this post:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/the-15th-of-august/

So, as you will see again in the following two super-important posts, the Mother was still alive then. In fact, one could even have a silent meeting with her on one’s birthday; but at the time I couldn’t care less…! The Divine had to arrange it all in a different, totally unexpected way for me to finally meet her, at the very last possible moment, on November 18th, 1973:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/november-181973-part-i-cosmic-darshan-of-the-mother/

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/november-18-1973-part-ii-physical-darshan-of-the-mother/

After such an incredible breakthrough, what remained to happen was the full opening of my Heart Center deep within me, where I would find the Mother again, but this time in the much more intimate way also required for constant contact and guidance. This too happened, not even two years later, in a rather dramatic but very effective manner:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2014/07/19/my-nde-in-auroville-april-1975/

A short while after this new breakthrough, as the tremendous strength of that experience started to fade away, I went for a complete stop of all my outer activities to urgently try and regain the so precious result of that dramatic NDE lived only a few weeks before… and once again a flabbergasting result did come:

(the needed post will be added here later on…).

In 1976, to my complete stupefaction, I came for the first time in contact with the consciousness of my body-cells, who in 1977 – hardly a year later – stupefied me again by starting to turn towards the Divine just on their own!… Over the years, this became secretly but ever increasingly a whole new aspect of my/our inner life, adding itself to all the rest already going on…

As my blog has a special Category for these ‘Cellular Consciousness’ experiences, please click on that category if you want to read actual posts about that. In the same way, there is a Category called ‘My Far Memories’, to which you may refer if you want to know more, so I’ll mention here only the main posts about other lifetimes I have had hints or vivid memories to have lived:

In 1984 it so happened that I had to start in Auroville the proposed ‘Laboratory of Evolution’ for it to begin to exist. Among the first few Research Newsletters I have been able to put together in the following years, one was about the Being that grows in all of us from the original spark of the Soul or Psyche, and that Sri Aurobindo and the Mother for that very reason call the ‘Psychic Being’ (the Being of the Soul). Already in my childhood some other lifetimes had vaguely surfaced in various ways, but  when in Auroville, while putting together that specific LOE Research Newsletter, one precise moment of a specific other life was re-lived ‘big time’, as you will see:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/meeting-the-divine-on-the-road/

A few years later, in completely different circumstances, it was a lifetime where I met yet another great embodiment here of the Divine, that wonderfully surfaced, explaining why the name of that Being had come spontaneously to my lips in my first inner encounter with Him in my current lifetime; the other lifetime concerned seemed quite ancient:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/my-ardent-prayer-to-honor-sri-krishna-and-sri-krishnas-answer/

Some historical research later on from my part confirmed that Sri Krishna may have indeed lived in that area in the remote past considered:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2014/07/05/sri-krishna-the-ancient-past-of-delhi/

The inner relationship with both these great Beings, Jesus and Krishna, as well of course as with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, continues to this day, as several more posts on my blog abundantly show, which I may list here later on. I will add now only the one I wrote after reading the NDE of another blogger, with whom I felt like sharing personally my own observations and conclusions:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2011/09/05/about-the-ocean-of-light-jeshua-me/

But in spite of my inner relationship with my physical cells as well, one thing seemed to be missing in my present personality: the inner contact with the Earth itself; it is only in a much more recent time that such kinds of experiences began to happen, like in the three cases described in the following two posts (sorry, the first one seems to be only in French as yet…):

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/les-deux-experiences-de-2002-reliees-a-celle-maintenant-de-gaia/

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2012/05/27/an-experience-with-gaia-thanks-to-kryon-and-tibetan-music/

My inner link with the other members of my family has revealed itself in various occasions, some of which I told of only covertly, for obvious reasons, but one of which I openly mentioned in a post regarding my elder sister, written after she went back to the vaster Reality a few years ago:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/sisters-through-song-even-after-death/

Our relationship with the Supreme Divine Itself feels actually like ‘family’ too: it can have the very same character of sweet, simple tenderness, as we have seen with the peacock feather as a token of Krishna’s love and genuine appreciation, a reassuring and encouraging concrete sign given to me when I needed it most…

Yet another very small but so significant occurrence, that happened quite recently, will serve to exemplify again how one’s own life, in its tiniest details, keeps being a constant sweet reminder of the Divine’s smiling care for our every need, a care shown in the most amazing ways:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2015/02/21/surprise-blessings-quite-precisely-timed/

I’ll stop at that for the time being… Thank you for following me that far! 🙂

Reconnecting with My Various Cultural Roots

My dear English-speaking visitors,

sorry for this long time writing mostly French posts – if anything at all…! – on this blog of mine.

I happen to be at a stage in my life and in my personal evolution when it seems more things from my past need to come out and become conscious in me, so that they become properly integrated in my being.

Expression in my mother-tongue, French, is at the moment a spontaneous and irrepressible part of that process.

And the kind of culture that automatically comes up in me together with this French language is of course also the French culture, all this informal mass of innumerable references that has grown in me since early childhood: ways of speaking, of thinking, of behaving, of reacting, memories of bits of French History, of French Literature – including its roots still carried by the Greek and Latin quotes learned and remembered by any well-educated French person of my generation – plus all those more popular things such as the old songs and stories and fairy-tales and legends of France… and the very landscapes and characteristic architectural shapes that form the geographical background to all that culture and remains in your very bones.

Whatever your own culture, you too have the equivalent same mass of references within you, all full of meaning for you, but that simply wouldn’t mean anything to me, wouldn’t evoke any emotion out of me and would leave me flat cold. I know that very well because I have been participating for years in a few Forums on the Net, in which the other participants are mostly North-Americans, for example, or at least Anglo-Saxons: their own culture speaks through them constantly, but most of the time unconsciously, that is, it’s so natural to them that they don’t ever realize it – but I simply don’t know what they are talking about!…

And all this is but normal: these are their roots, relevant and understandable and indispensable for them in their life there, but without any relevance for me as a French person, or for anyone else from yet any other culture.

This is why I’m not going to inflict on you my French culture either –  even just through tentative translations – all the more because in my own individual case it is not even entirely the ‘regular’ French culture I am a product of, but a special mixture of that with the local culture in the little far-away (but nevertheless French) island called Martinique, out there near Cuba and Jamaica, that my family happens to originate from since many generations.

Although I myself wasn’t born there and never lived there, this specific Martinique background has been present in my life at all stages and has separated me to some extent from the ‘regular’ French persons I happen to have met and associated with at all times, while I know practically no other person from Martinique except the relatives and friends of my parents and grand-parents who visited them now and then in France in the old days of my childhood and youth, when my parents too spent some time there with us the two girls, in between work time for my father as a French Government official in the parts of Africa colonized by France.

Of course to have lived most of my early years in that Africa that was also a part of our original roots as people from Martinique, has been a special experience for me, although again I could feel the difference separating me from the people born and living there as real Africans, which I was not.

All this under the skin of an apparently fully ‘white’ young girl and adult, yet totally used to the diversity in outer appearance between all of us members of the very same family. This utter diversity all seemed perfectly normal to me as a child, and probably protected me from any racist tendency that could have grown in me towards the African people working with my parents, or the younger ones studying together with me in the French ‘Lycees’ (secondary schools) my sister and I attended in the various towns my father was sent to over the years.

Racism was so far from my mind, even as a young adult, that it came as a big shock to me when, luckily in two separate occasions only, a few persons, seeing my mixed origins in my parents, manifested some racist reactions towards me, which left me totally flabbergasted and my world shaken in its very foundations.

Now a much older being, recently I have started looking back at my life and wondering how different it would have been, had I been more visibly the person of mixed origins that I am,

a Creole from Martinique. Have I been hiding all my life under this white skin and this light brown, almost blonde hair? Or were these the outer signs of the numerous lifetimes also lived in France – or sometimes Italy – in other historical periods, outer signs which helped me keep my deep inner connection with Europe, and the vaster relationship to the world that it entailed, instead of feeling spontaneously just as a relatively insignificant person from a relatively unimportant little island in the Caribbean Sea?…

It is as if in me so many parts of this planet, so many lands and cultures of this Earth, were trying to come consciously together at last, as so many various but complementary facets of our world’s population finding at last their harmony and unity…

“MUOB”, or My NDE in Auroville, April 1975

Pour la traduction francaise, voir au 2 decembre 2015:

https://labofevolution.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/muob-ou-ma-ndeemi-a-auroville-avril-1975/

———————–

A few years only after my arrival in Auroville, I grew impatient of the slowness of our collective progress. Among the existing Aurovilian settlements, I could find none where the intensity, the inner fire for conscious evolution and Integral Yoga seemed to me still truly alive.

Only a new settlement, started recently upon the elevated area between two canyons by an austere and radiant young man coming from the Ashram, was still attractive to me, for in him and in that new place the inner flame seemed to me to be still well alight.

He allowed me to join the selected few who were already living around him.

I was very happy, and for about eight months it all went fine.

But at some point he talked to me privately and told me, quite unexpectedly, that certain strong tendencies I had in me were not good for the place and I would have to leave.

Flabbergasted and appalled, I begged him to at least give me some more time, just one month more; within that month for sure I would be able to eradicate whatever problem he had in mind, that made my presence undesirable.

He agreed to give me that additional time of one month, and then we would meet again, in his hut, for him to inform me of his final decision.

You can imagine how I spent that one month I had left for changing myself convincingly enough to win his approval and be able to stay on, which was extremely important for me: day and night I was fervently offering myself and whatever defect I had to the Divine, the Divine as I had already come in contact with in that huge experience on November 18th, 1973: the Divine Mother.

But in the enormous Darshan of Herself I had received on that day, the inner contact with Her, the intimacy of Her Presence and Guidance were missing. In the absence of a direct Guidance from Her within me, I had inwardly made a pact with Her: I would consider that young man as Her voice for me, and whatever he would say to me I would consider She Herself was saying it to me – hardly an ideal solution, for sure, but I didn’t know any better at the time, so that was the best deal I could come up with for receiving, at least indirectly, Her Guidance.

When the month finally came to an end, each minute of it having been spent in ardent inner prayer that I could stay, I went to the hut of the young man and sat in front of him in silence, awaiting his verdict. Both of us were in the lotus position which is so practical in such huts for sitting a thin cushion directly on the floor, in that case on the upper floor of the hut. My heart was beating violently while I waited for his word.

After a short mute concentration,  he looked me straight in the eyes and told me, gently but with the firmness of finality:

“Sorry, you really have to go.”

No reply came out of me, for his words hit me like a knife stabbing my heart. Pain seized my heart in its fierce grip, so acute I couldn’t even scream.

I blacked out, my eyes closing by themselves while my sitting body became rigid like in a frozen spasm.

In the inner darkness now surrounding me totally, pain was the only reminder that I still had a body; but inwardly I could feel the life-energy retreating from all my limbs, through my entire organism,  retreating faster and faster, towards my heart, the flow of life-energy being attracted there irresistibly just as towards a black hole that sucked it all in: a black hole of excruciating pain.

My only thought, out of the intense feeling of total despair that submerged me, was this:

” So the Divine Mother has rejected me. She said “No” to me. This place was the last one, the only one where I felt I would be helped to progress and improve myself . Now I have nowhere else to go. I’m lost. My life has no meaning any more. I can as well die.”

And in the strange mental vacuity of that moment, an even stranger memory suddenly crossed my mind:

Long years before, as a child, I had read a  riddle, a funny joke in “Selection of the Reader’s Digest”:

” The sound of an explosion is BOUM. What is the sound of an implosion?”

The answer was: “MUOB”.

I had liked that funny sound, it had made me laugh, so expressive it was indeed of what an implosion is.

And now, in that moment that felt pretty much like imminent death by implosion, this was the only thought that briefly came back to my mind, after complete oblivion for decades:

“So now here I am, doing MUOB…”

My despair was so total I didn’t care. I was just watching it all happen, with mute, oppressingly painful indifference.

What was left of my being felt more and more like an infinitely compressed intensity of pain and despair. I was turning into a kind of stone, a black stone, harder and harder, smaller and smaller, the pain more and more unbearable as I was nearing the point when I would be entirely sucked in and would finally vanish into nothingness.

On the very verge of annihilation, something in me suddenly surged, however faint, that couldn’t accept. Couldn’t accept that fate, couldn’t accept that the Divine Mother had rejected me, it was too unjust, too cruel:

“How could She ever condemn me? She is my Mother, my eternal Mother! She knows everything of me. She knows my sincerity, she knows how hard I tried!… How could She reject me? It is not possible, She cannot abandon me!”

And in an ultimate burst of love for Her and faith in Her Love, an anguished call for help, an inner scream went out to Her across the Black Void of Death engulfing me:

“MOTHER!…”

Instantaneously I found myself in an immense, yet intimate realm of lovely golden Light suffusing everything, the beautiful landscape, the very beings that were there – but among them I, in the form of a cute little girl perhaps six years old,  in a nice little dress, I had eyes only for Her, my Divine Mama, who was sitting there at some distance, on a kind of throne made of the same lovely Light, and her Being itself shone softly with it as well, while She was opening her arms towards me, and smiling to me such a sweet smile I came running eagerly with stretched arms towards Her and threw myself onto Her in total trust and joyful abandon. I was Home at last, with Her.

From the timeless moment that followed, I remember only the blissful Oneness between us, and how She comforted me, laughing softly, telling me how of course She had never rejected me at all, and never would, it was impossible, but at that stage of my human life that much pain had been necessary for my consciousness to finally reach the intensity of yearning that had enabled me to shift dimension and come to that Realm of all-pervasive luminous Sweetness of Love, in which our Souls have their Origin, and which is our real Home in between lifetimes on Earth or elsewhere, when we are having a Human experience in a physical human body.

I melted in Her, in Her Love, I was Hers for a happy eternity in which no sense of Time passing existed at all.

And suddenly my consciousness found itself back inside that hut, inside my body still sitting there, rigidly immobile in front of the young man’s body also sitting there. I was in a state of perfect happiness and tranquility.

He was looking at me with astonishment and a kind of awe, mightily puzzled as he must have been by the extreme changes that my face must have gone through while expressing the extreme inner changes I had experienced. I felt compassion for him, who had witnessed all this without knowing what was going on within me. I felt also gratitude, for the part he had unwittingly played in that wonderful dimensional shift I had experienced: by pushing me to the very limits of despair and death, he had been the instrument the Divine Mother had used for obtaining this result. I smiled sweetly to him, and said:

“So, I have to leave?… Fine . No problem. I can go anywhere  else, it doesn’t matter. Any other place in Auroville  that you would suggest?”

And indeed, the place didn’t matter any more, nor did he himself, now that I had my inner contact with my dear Mother securely established within me and directly accessible for Guidance.

For a while he couldn’t believe his ears. It was a transformed person he was looking at and listening to. The change had been so abrupt he was quite bewildered. Finally he managed to tell me indeed the name of another community where someone was needed to take care of the place, the previous care-taker having recently left.

And I happily moved there with my beautiful sweet secret hidden within me… the secret of my narrow escape from death by heart-attack, and of my visit to our blissful Home in the eternal Reality behind this one.

 

 

 

 

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: